Missing “T’s” and Traffic Jams

Last night was my birthday celebration. I picked Ross up from work and we headed over to the Hill Café for some dinner. Because I’m now incapable of remembering things since I’m so old, I had forgotten about the traffic mess that was interstate 95 and we were forced to find an ass-backwards way of getting to dinner. We ended up on the other side of the river. I was tired, hungry, and caught in traffic. None of these things are good for me to be. So, Ross decided that we should stop at Legend at get a drink and some snackies until things cleared up. I ordered a drink because I don’t do beer, and we shared some crab/spinach dip sans the spinach because of the E.Coli. Just plain crab is fine by me. I had my drink pretty fast and I was feeling much better. Keep in mind that I rarely drink and one will send me to bed for the night.

Thanks to Ross’s unmatched navigation skills we finally made it to the Hill Café, only after we were chased by a fire engine and I declared it ridiculous that “Fasmart” has no “T” in it, like they have no time to wait for the lazy-ass “T” to catch up, so they’re outta here. As Ross was escaping the fire engine, I kept calling “Fassssmaaart” out of the window. Ross didn’t seem to think that was a good idea. Whatever it was my birthday.

Once in the restaurant, we settled in, ate some food, and I had some more drinks. I was in the middle of a sentence about how much I love Alicia Farrell’s blog when I started to feel the effects of the spirits I had partaken in. I don’t think I ever finished the sentence.

I remember making some phone calls in the car on the way home. I may have left somemessages. Funny how people called me back *immediately* when they got those messages. I remember Stephanie saying that she loves Drunk Valerie, Jennifer being very nice, my brother telling me he was going to save the message I had left him, and MattWhite not being convinced by my impression of Ross. I’m kind of nervous about seeing these people again.

Question: Who loves a slightly drunk birthday girl calling you on the phone?!?!!?!?!?!?1

Answer: Everyone!!!!!!!!!

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWwooooohooooooooooo!!!!!!

Code Blue alternative?

People in the education world are all in a tizzy over this. Apparently in Fort Worth, Texas, school are teaching kids to fight back if a gunman comes into the room. They are being told to throw books, binders, anything they can find, at his head, and even rush at him if necessary.

In our school system, a gunman entering the school is considered a code blue. I won't go into what we actually do during a code blue because who knows what crrrrrazies read this page, but we definitely don't throw anything or even move at all. After reading this article, I'm wondering if that's the best choice.

This is not to say that I'm all for my children running at armed people. But, I mean, if you were going to invade a school, wouldn't you choose the one where the kids do what you say over the one where you going to get body slammed by 30 children each weight approximately 75 lbs. and a teacher weighing 130 lbs? It's a sticky choice. Part of the current implications of being a teacher (at least in my mind) is that you would risk your life to protect your kids. If it's between one of them or me taking a bullet, I'd throw myself in front of them to take it. But, unfortunately, that scenario seems a bit more likely now. Maybe teaching the kids to fight back would keep us from having to make that choice.

Any thoughts?

Red hots, busted knees, homework, and knitting

Robin gets married on Saturday and as her maid-tron of honor, it is up to me to take care of certain duties. Tonight I did the favors for the wedding. They involve very small jars, large quantities of red hots, and tying ribbon into little knots. I worked on them for 2 hours last night and 3 hours tonight. I called her immediately after I finished. This was our conversation:

Robin: Hello!
Me: They are done. Please come and get them. I don't want to see them ever again.
Robin: I love you.
Me: I'm serious.
Robin: Ok, I'll be right there.

She then came over and we had a conversation during which I was only partially coherent. Our chatting consisted of me asking her questions about the wedding, yelling at my oceanography notes, telling her about school, and yelling at my oceanography notes again. Needless to say, she didn't stay very long because I had gone insane.

Determined to stay on top of things for my oceanography class, despite the craziness that is this week, I then made my way upstairs to settle in and get my crappy homework done. I was halfway done when I realized I needed a Sharpie to draw on my globe (don't ask, it's a stupid explanation). I turned and slammed my knee into the corner of my desk. It was one of those times where you have a full second to think, "Damn that is going to *hurt* in a few seconds. It will be a hurt that I know will pass, but one that will make me want to vomit nonetheless." I was right. I then curled up on the floor groaning, "Ooooooooh, ahhhhhhhhhhhh, ooooooooh, ahhhhhhhhhhh...ooooooh.......ahhhhhhhhhhhh............ooooooooh" for about 10 minutes.

After finishing my homework, I realized that I actually had time to knit. I hobbled downstairs and scurried into the living room. I picked up one of my knitting projects (they're both scarves, but they're *different*) and proceeded to sing this song to it; yeah, that's right, I was singing to my knitting:

Oh, knitting!
How I missed you!
Oh, knitting!
How I love you!
It's been so looooooooooong,
Since we've had fuuuuuuuuun,
Oh knitting I love you so.

Clearly, it's time for bed.

Questions children asked me today...

When is the last day of school?

If Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1492, how come he didn't get here until 1607?

Are we going outside tomorrow if it's raining?

Are you Swedish or something?

How do you spell dictionary?

Why doesn't Mr. Benedict have a real job like my dad does?

My tongue hurts, can I go to the clinic?

Sigh...

Tailgating Woohoo!

Every month a different grade level prepares some kind of “treat” for the staff. Usually this involves putting food in the teacher’s lounge for people to snack on during the day. October is 5th grade’s month, and we decided to do something different. Debbi, Janie, and I all love tailgating, and Jason just does what we say, so today we pulled their SUV’s up on the playground and served a bona-fide tailgating breakfast. Everyone came wearing their team colors and we had us a good old time. We had bubble bread, coffee cake, sausage balls, pigs in blankets, trail-mix, and cinnamon rolls. It was freezing cold, and sunny, and windy, and glorious. I had so much fun, even though I think I still smell like sausage from slaving away yesterday, up to my elbows in pork products.

Slowly going mad

I've got an INsane week coming up with about a million things going on. Here's the run down (and please note that not all of these are considered work, I'm just amazed how jam-packed everything is):

Monday: Get to work early, set up faculty breakfast, run about a zillion copies of a zillion things, teach the children, come home, make the wedding favors, do homework, maybe say hi to my husband

Tuesday: Teach the children, come home, go to Bible study, do the homework that I didn't do Monday night

Wednesday: Teach the children, get together plans for my substitute, go home, clean my house, have people at my house to watch Project Runway finale/go to Leah's bachelorette party

Thursday: Keep Robin from going insane, get a manicure and pedicure, freak out that my students are misbehaving, keep Robin from going insane again, go to Robin's bachelorette party

Friday: Pull Robin off of the ceiling from stress/excitement, freak out again that my students are misbehaving, go to wedding site and help set things up, pick Robin up off of the floor, rehearse for the wedding, go to rehearsal dinner

Saturday: Pick Robin (now called the Bride) up, make sure we've got all of the Bride's things before leaving, take the Bride to get her hair done, get my hair done, driving the Bride to the wedding site, squeeze my top-heavy self into my dress, getting the Bride into her dress, get the Bride down the aisle, cry during the ceremony, get a new brother, pose for pictures, eat some food, make a toast (eek!), dance with the hubs, roll my eyes at things the hub says, get the Bride and Groom off to their hotel, load up the car with stuff, take the stuff to the Bride and Groom's apartment, go home, die from exhaustion

Sunday: Get miraculously resurrected from death by exhaustion, sleep late, go to church, go back to sleep, wake up and pester Ross about my birthday present

Geesh.

Personal space

Today my children were acting like puppies. They were all over me every second of the day, swarming me at every turn. Finally, I picked up my yardstick and beat them. Just kidding. Actually, I picked it up, held it out from my body, and declared that they were not allowed to get within three feet of me. It worked amazingly well. See, guys? All kids need are very specific boundaries.

Sabotage!

My school is full of ladies. As we know, ladies are often concerned with their weight. Every year, my school has some sort of weight loss competition. They divide into teams and whichever team loses the most weight over a given period of time wins a reward. This year, it’s gotten ugly.

We walked into the lounge this afternoon and found our tables covered with trays of cookies, cake, and candy. A sign stood next to the treats stating, “Please help yourself and enjoy!” At first we thought, “Oh how sweet.” However, upon closer inspection of the handwriting, we discovered that our school secretary, a member of the winning weight loss team, wrote the note. It was a set up. An awesome set up which, being that I (notably not a member of a weight loss team) thoroughly enjoyed as my colleagues ate their South Beach microwave meals.

"It stabbed him in the abdomonian!!!!"

These precious words were exclaimed by young Nicholas as he watched the trapdoor spider (we think that's what is was and since I'm the science teacher and I said it, it is so) go about his ferocious feeding habits.

We came across the spider's web while walking out to recess. There are 4 distinct groups out at recess and they are as follows:
1. The kickballers
2. The jungle gym kids
3. The double-dutchers

and my personal favorite...
4. The dirt diggers.

I generally stick with watching the double dutchers and the dirt diggers. It's not my affinity for the letter "d" but rather I fell into both of these groups when I was a kid. I can't double dutch, but sometimes they will cheapen themselves and turn one rope so I can play,

Anyway, the dirt diggers were crawling around on the dew-soaked ground (yes, they all look as if they've pissed themselves by the time we go in) when all of a sudden I saw them all freeze. This is usually what happens when they've found something awesome. A complex web was spread out on the grass, reaching about 12 inches in diameter. The center of the web funneled into a small hole leading to the bottom of the mound of spider gunk. Now, dirt diggers understand that you do not mess with something as amazing as this. There will be no stepping on it or stirring of it with a twig. They must investigate. I was beckoned over, consulted, and it was decided that I should gently prod at the hole with a piece of grass. I did so, and out scurried a big brown spider. Dirt diggers don't shriek, no matter their gender. Instead they explode with shouts of "AWESOME" and "OHMYGOSHTHATISTHECOOLESTTHINGIHAVEEVERSEENINMYLIFE" and the like.

Being the awesome teacher that I am, I told them to go find a cricket to see if we could get the spider to eat it. I thought this would keep them occupied for the remainder of recess, but dirt diggers are a determined folk. They were back in less than five minutes with the lucky representative cupping a cricket in her hands. The young lady then gently (because, I mean, she didn't want to kill the cricket, she wanted to see the spider do it) placed the cricket near the hole in the web, making sure that it got stuck. Then we sat. And we watched.

After about 10 minutes of frantically telling each other to "shhhhhhhhh" and "back up so they wouldn't scare the spider" my little nerdy friends were rewarded. As the cricket made a valiant but futile attempt to leap from the web, the spider bolted out of its hole, jumped on the cricket, and dragged him to his doom down in the hole. This is when dear Nicholas placed his face directly on the grass to peer into the spider's mound and gave us the play-by-play destruction of the cricket's "abdomonian" (it was too funny to correct) and eminent death.

So, what did you do at work today?

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Ross: Sometimes, I wish you were more of a slut.

What the mess.

Little Miss Sunshine. Or as I like to call it "Little Miss Best Movie Ever."

Ross and I ventured out into the monsoon tonight to finally cash in our movie passes. See, when you buy a house through Cabell Childress, he randomly sends you gas cards, vouchers for basketball games, and movie passes, just to thank you for doing business with him. We had gotten the latest passes a while ago, but just tonight found both of us with enough time to go and see a movie together.

We’d been wanting to see Little Miss Sunshine for a while. Luckily it was still playing at the Westhampton. So, after stopping at CVS for more large adhesive bandages (see here for why) and contraband, i.e. non-concession stand candy to be stashed in my ridiculously large bag prior to entering the theater, we made our way up to Theater #2 (our favorite-don’t ask me why) to watch this movie we’d heard so much about.

I’m very hesitant about giving two entire thumbs up or five stars. I’d much rather cop out by throwing a ½ in there so I don’t have to really commit to anything. But, I’m gonna say it: this movie gets full marks. I won’t go into the storyline because I’m not very good at summarizing, and if you really care, go see the movie. However, I will tell you that this movie is one of the best ones I’ve seen in a very long time. I didn’t even realize how long it’d been since I’d seen a good movie. But this one was great enough to show me that I’ve been watching crap for a good long while. There’s nothing pretentious about it, but it’s not fluff in any way. Its message is simple yet important, and you leave it feeling good - but not a cheesy good, like an authentic, useful, real-life good.

Greg Kinnear and Toni Collette are perfect as the married couple dragging their family along in their efforts to get their daughter to a beauty pageant. Steve Carell is hilarious as usual, but not in his typical ridiculous way. I think we often forget that comedic actors are typically the best ones. I’m not saying that I want to see him as the leading man in an epic romance, I just mean that he is capable of giving a very layered performance, without beating you over the head with his character’s plight. Paul Dano is great as the angsty (I really hate that word and I don’t think it applies, but I couldn’t think of another one), even though he doesn’t speak until the movie is almost over. And, I must say, I am totally in love with Abigail Breslin. This child makes you want to have a million babies in hopes that you will have just one like the character she plays.

So, in short, go see it. Or just Netflix it. But definitely watch it. And FYI: The horn is the best part.

Something I highly recommend:

Watching someone take off a sweatshirt when they don't know you are watching them. Woo.

So cute.

I have found the most effective classroom management tool ever: The Witches by Roald Dahl. I started reading it aloud to my kids on Tuesday and they are obsessed with it. Obsessed. Anytime they get rowdy, I hold up the book and shake my head from side to side. Apparently the possibility that they might not get to hear the story is painful enough to shock them back into normalcy. Or out of normalcy and into perfection. I’ll take either one.

I discovered a way to make them love it even more. They all sit on the carpet and I switch off the overhead lights. For some reason, having a book read by a “real” light makes them so happy. They got out of music early today, so we had an extra 15 minutes to kill before dismissal. The noise level was getting a little crazy, so I just pulled my chair onto the carpet, sat down, and opened the book. They immediately (and silently) flocked to the carpet as Travis adjusted our lighting and Michael shut the door. Then they sat in complete silence, listening to me read until the bell rang. As I shut the book, they begged for me to keep going, with one of them even saying, “Can’t we just all call our parents and get permission to stay until you finish the book?”

Thanks, Mr. Dahl.

Very tired, calm, and looking forward to the weekend.

It has been a good but long week. Yesterday brought with it lots of drama at school (thankfully none of it involving my class), requiring a lock down in our part of the building and a visit from the police to remove a parent from the premises. But, my kids have been great and hopefully we’ll have a good day. They are usually pretty mellow on Fridays. I think they feel the strain of the week, too, and look forward to the weekend for the same reasons I do.

Kate and Jennifer taught me how to knit on Wednesday, and it’s all I want to do now. I’m in the process of knitting a beautiful rectangle. It’s really wobbly and kind of gross looking at the end where I started, but it’s starting to even out as I get better. My professor at J. Sarg allowed me to knit all through class last night because apparently he is awesome. I paid excellent attention and could probably tell you all you want to know about salinity and density.

This weekend should be nice and mellow. I get a haircut this afternoon, which I’m sure will be followed by a nice long nap. I think I’m going to start knitting an actual scarf this weekend while Ross watches VT play Georgia Tech. Hopefully we’ll get to see Ross’s parents this weekend. I’m really craving the Southern Fried Chicken, green beans, and mashed potatoes from the Hill Café. Keep your fingers crossed that we get a double dinner date with them. The only thing I *have* to do is some laundry and vacuum upstairs.

October starts on Sunday, which means my birthday is so soon. I’m turning 25, which I think is awesome.

Some things I'm considering.

1. Having a talk like a robot day at school.

2. ALSO having a talk like a pirate day at school. I might even make them dress up as pirates. I just have to figure out how such a day would instructional value first.

3. Requiring my students to refer to one another as "Mr." and "Miss." I think it might be amazing.

4. Making the 90's version of "Lean on Me" our clas song and making them sing it everyday. Maybe I'll make them dance, too.

5. Taking my kids down to kindergarten to lead a seminar on walking in line, because, truly, they are amazing at it.

Let me know what you think. I am now going to bed for the 21st day in a row praising the Lord for my hilarious/wonderful/kind children.

Impaired.

I am very crafty. By crafty I mean that I can make crafts, not that I am sneaky (although I can be very sneaky at times.) If you look around my house you will find things that I have made that do not necessarily look as if they were lovingly constructed by my hands alone. But they were. My repertoire is pretty extensive, I will admit.

But still, there is one thing that I still manage to suck at. Not even suck at really, because you have to do something to suck at it. I’m so terrified of it, I don’t even know if I suck at it.

Knitting. Many of my friends do it. Most of the people I work with do it. Justin Morgan can even do it (don’t make fun of him – he spent a lot of time with girls in college learning how to do it). I’ve tried to understand how it works, and often marveled at the beautiful sweaters, caps, scarves, and ridiculously cute baby things produced by this craft. But, something in my brain just doesn’t connect the steps together.

Out on the playground (yes, part of my job involves being out on the playground), Debbi (a fellow 5th grade teacher who reminds me so much of my mother-in-law) was talking about how she knits Christmas stockings for all of her friends’ new babies or for any newlyweds she knows. We got to talking about how knitting lets you make really cool presents for people, and I confessed to her that I cannot do it. Well, she’s determined to change that. Tomorrow she is bringing in her old needles and extra yarn and, by God, she is going to teach me how to knit. Or so she says. I’ll let you know how it goes. Maybe you all will be getting lopsided scarves and tea cozies for Christmas!

Almost Fatmous?!?!?!

I'm not really one to be concerned about weight. I try not to focus on what the scale says and concentrate on how I feel and how my clothes fit. However, I recently calculated my BMI, and found that I'm currently at 23.6, only 1.4 away from being technically overweight. OMG!!!

I worked out a ton this summer, but as I started using my brain again since school started, I ended up neglecting my body. But, no more! So, I've committed to a minimum of 30 minutes of physical activity a day. I made this promise on Thursday and so far it's going well. As I've learned, you just need to do something everyday for 21 days to make it a habit. I've made it 3 out of 3 days, so hopefully I'll keep up with it. Here's how it's gone as of now:

Thursday-Walked Zapp
Friday-Exercised on the Balance Ball
Saturday-BELLY DANCING DVD!!!!

In addition to this increase in activity and my new obsession with Green Tea (and consequential disinterest in soda), I'm sure to be in tip-top shape in no time. Right?

You are the love of my life. Quite simply, the love of my life.

My life has been made better, by you, Diet Lipton Green Tea With Citrus.

HOW CAN MY NOSE BE RUNNING AND STUFFED UP AT THE SAME TIME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?1/1

I'm going to wear a biohazard suit to school from now on. It's only week three and I've already been floored by a wicked cold that makes me "gurgle" in my sleep, according to Ross. I've was feeling much better yesterday, but apparently my re-entry into the filth that is an elementary school classroom, my cold has gotten stronger and become a bigger pain in my ass. All I wanted to do today was to plop them in front of a Magic Schoolbus Video, curl up under my desk, and go to sleep. Good thing my principal was making the rounds today, or I just might have done that.

This cold better go away because I got plans to be at the beach this weekend. Don't worry, Phannie. If I don't go, I will still pay my part of the rental fee. But please only accept my payment whilst wearing latex gloves and a SARS mask.

You have one month and 6 days until my birthday.

Here is my wish list...

1. A gift certificate to have Merry Maids come and clean my house
2. Tile my downstairs hallway
3. Purchase and install a new furnace
4. Purchase and install new windows in my house
5. The new iPod shuffle
6. A baby
7. A sewing machine
8. For Ross to clean the office

Hop to it.

Mi esposo, Ross

He takes my iPod and puts music on it without telling me. Sometimes I like this, sometimes I don't. Usually I do because when I push play, it's like a little surprise he made for me. Even though I skip through a lot of songs after 5 seconds.

He leaves his bladder on the dining room table. Not his *real* bladder, but the one that goes with his camelback thing that he wears while biking. I like just calling it his bladder because it sounds absurd.

He gets really mad when people say bad things about marriage. It's the one situation where I think he would actually get into a fight with someone.

He love love loves his parents.

He demands that infants do tricks in order to keep him entertained. If they don't, he openly mocks them.

He calls my sister his sister and my brother his brother. None of this in-law mess.

He often stands in the shower with his eyes closed and his arms crossed across his chest, looking very formidable. This is the only time he looks formidable. Ever.

He never yells.

When he finds a good restaurant, book, movie, anything really, he will tell everyone he knows about it, in detail. Everyone. And I'm usually there for each time he tells them.


He loves me more than he loves anyone. HA! Suck it, fools!

I'd put an old man to shame.

I have so many ailments right now, it's ridiculous. After taking just one iron tablet, my stomach went INsane (as the warning label said it would). I won't go into details. On top of that, I already have my first cold of the school year. Being that it's only the second week, I'm kind of frustrated. My TMJ is acting up and I need to sleep with a heating pad on my face tonight. I also can't seem to remember anything for more than 5 minutes. THINGS ARE AWESOME.

And the verdict is...

Anemia. Yet another medication will be added to my daily arsenol. I guess it could be worse, though.

I <3 LabCorp.

Time in: 4:00 pm
Times stuck: 1
Time out: 4:09 pm

I’m a human pincushion.

Yesterday, after much urging from my husband, I finally went to the doctor to figure out what the heck my problem is. For the last 3 weeks I have major headaches during the day, as well as an overwhelming feeling that I have been run over by a truck. After a near temper tantrum yesterday morning over not being able to find a shirt that I believed fit, I scheduled an appointment with my doctor, saying, “I’ve felt like crap for almost a month and I’d like to know why.”

My appointment was at 3:45. I got into the exam room at 4:45. Awesome. It was also freezing which doesn’t make a tired person feel any better. When the doctor (who I love love love, even though he has really hairy hands) finally came, we sat and chatted about my issues. After about 15 minutes of him hmmming at me and my teeth chattering at him due to the polar temperatures of the room, he basically said he had no clue what was wrong. Soooooo, he decided to get some blood and test me for just about everything.

The nurse came in and tried to stick me in my right arm. No luck. My left arm. No luck. My left hand. No luck. My right hand. No luck. Just as I was about to offer her my foot to try, she said that they were just going to give me a lab order for me to take over to LabCorp and have them draw the blood. Still awesome. So today, I will go to LabCorp, get stuck again, and hopefully by the week we will find out if I am anemic, pregnant, have mono, have a thyroid condition, or none of the above. Or maybe ALL of the above?!?!?!?!?11

Oh, and if they don’t find anything, I have to go to a sleep specialist to see if I have some kind of sleeping disorder. I love love love disorders so I’m putting my money on that one.

What a great start to the weekend!

It's 1:11 and I'm just getting out of bed. I *did* get out of bed at 9 to let the dogs out (yeah, it was me), but when I got back upstairs Ross looked so snuggly in the bed, I just couldn't resist. PLUS, when I finally got out of bed, I found a new ink cartidge for my printer resting on my desk, courtesy of my non-lazy hubs. Now I will take a shower-maybe that will be magical, too!!!!!!!!!!!111

Things that are irritating.

I've recently begun to experience what "normal" people feel when they are irritated. Pre-Meds, I would have a physical reaction to being irritated and fixate on it for days. Now, I just think, "Man, that's irritating." It's quite a breakthrough.

In honor of my new-found normalcy, I thought I'd list a few things that are irritating to me...

1. People who toss cigarette butts on the ground or out of the car window. This is littering in every possible way. There is no justification for it. Please stop.

2. Chronic lateness.

3. People who spell it "definately" rather than "definitely."

4. When people say "I wish I was." It's "I wish I were."

5. Errands

6. Dust

7. When old people say, "It's five o'clock somewhere."

8. Frat boys. Well, just the loud ones who remind me of after-school specials about date-rape.

9. Victory Nissan commercials. True Richmonders know what I mean.

10. Vanilla anything: candles, lotion, perfume, anything

11. French accents

12. How sweaters get those fuzzy, little pilly things on them

13. People misquoting movies in large groups when everyone is listening to them. If you're not absolutely sure that you've got it right (as in, you've looked it up on the internet), don't say it.

14. Pie crust

15. Children running around public places, subjecting us all to the choas to which their parents have become numb.

What about you?

So far so good

Today was day #2 out of 183, and I must say that I was pleasantly surprised. Either I was just super-together from the jumping off point, or I just have a good mix of kids. We were very nervous about the little ones that were coming up, but we're starting to think that they were just grouped really badly last year. Honestly, this was the best start to the school year that I have ever had. They came in today and hit the ground running. Keep your fingers crossed that we have a nice, solid, steady year.

!?!?!??!?!?

The Crocodile Hunter is dead.

Hooooo. I'm funny.

I saw this. But I would much rather have seen this:



Ohhhh, homophones. You so crazy.

It's that time again...

School starts on Monday. I didn't go in for our last day of teacher workweek because it's quite possible that I wouldn't be able to make it home. See, my school is surrounded by roads that all have very steep hills. The slightest bit of rain tends to wash those roads out. Personally, I don't want to be trapped at school for the holiday weekend.

It was a good workweek, overall. I like being busy, so it was a nice change from this summer. My room is all set up and beautiful, if I do say so myself (and I do). We have a new class pet. He's a hamster named Snooze. Snooze is very cute but he screeches when he gets nervous. Who new that hamsters could scream?

We had Back to School Night yesterday evening. I had a good turnout despite the rain. I met several parents who seem very nice and supportive. It should be an interesting year. I have a lot of kids who are said to be high maintenance and chatty. Hopefully I'll be able to break them of that habit pretty quickly. I just know that my room will have to be even more structured than usual to keep the kids on track.

We have two kids in 5th grade named Earl. Weird.

I'm really excited about the motto that my school has adopted. We are now officially a "Work Hard, Be Kind" school. The music teacher wrote an awesome song for the kids to learn. It involves clapping, drums, and different groups of kids singing different things at different time. She told me the word for that but I forgot. She taught the song to the teachers at our last staff meeting and I got to play a huge drum. A fourth grade teacher and I were in charge of chanting the background beat. I don't know why we got paired up because we kind of have a history of playing around A LOT, but we did a very good job and had so much fun. The teachers already love the song and I know the kids will flip out over the chaotic, yet rhythmic nature of it all. I mean, they get to sing really loudly. What kid doesn't like that?

I'll give updates as the school year gets started. I'm feeling really good about everything and I actually can't wait for all of the craziness to start!

He's a genius.

This evening Ross and I had the honor of watching our dear friend Remus eat solid foods for the first time. While we dined on delicious meatloaf (which you never really *pick* to eat but it always hits the spot) and mashed yams, Remus rested in the other room to ready his small self for the excitement.

We took turns feeding him rice mush and mushy squash. We all declared him advanced when he insisted on holding the spoon himself and when he would push it back towards the bowl once the spoon was empty. Needless to say, it was super cute.

Thanks to Jenny and Mark for letting us be part of this momentous occassion-I had *so* much fun. And, I'm not gonna lie, I got a little drunk, which is always nice to do on your last night of summer vacation.

"Comic Sues Jews for Jesus"

This headline had me puzzled. Before reading the article, I thought it was saying that a comic was taking it upon himself to sue all of the Jews *for* Jesus. And then I realized that I was an idiot.

Something I said today that was awesome.

"Shit, I still need to make the communion bread."

I'm sure Jesus appreciated that one.

Stupid Chemical Imbalance.

I spent most of today in bed. I didn't sleep last night because I spent most of yesterday in bed as well. We'll see how it goes tonight.

My diagnosis with an anxiety disorder was essentially a diagnosis of depression. It's by no means debilitating, but occasionally (typically with the onset of every girl's most favorite time of the month) it seems that even medication cannot battle the wicked drops in seratonin that I experience.

As these drops occur, every part of my life that I'm stressed about or sad about comes rushing to the forefront of my brain, sending me into a mope that would put even the most emo of teenagers to shame. I am currently fighting one of those mopes, so don't expect anything funny. A kind word or two would help, though.

To ink?

I want a tattoo really bad. Like really bad. And it's not just cause I watch Miami Ink. I want dogwood blossoms around what looks like a stamp that says "Made in Richmond, VA." I thought it would be funny to get "Made in Richmond, VA" tattooed on the bottom of my foot, so I'd be like a Barbie doll, but I know it would rub off. Too bad we're too poor for such a treat. Maybe one day.

DOWN WITH ROMANCE.

I was watching One Week to Save Your Marriage this evening, because it's one of those shows that makes me feel great about my relationship *and* my ability to just, well, not be a jerk to the people I love. Anyway, the premise of this show is pretty self explanatory. This counselor provides intense therapy for couples on the brink of divorce, in efforts to get them back on track, all in one week. This week's couple was Erin and, well, I can't remember the husband's name because I was too enraged by the insanity/ridiculousness of his baby-talking, passive aggressive wife. Erin's main complaint was that Husband was never romantic. I mean, it was pretty obvious to me why he wasn't romantic. Who would want to snuggle up with the Pouty McIceQueen every night? Anyway, her infuriatingly vague yet screeching demands for romance got me thinking.

Ross and I have been married for three years. We were together for a total of 5 years before that, including a brief break. I like to call it "Ross's 11 months of Insanity," but we'll just call it a break. Anyway, even by the time we were married, we were kind of over the romance part of things. The flowers, sweet emails, and butterflies in the stomach (although they still make their appearances every now and then) gave way to solidarity, sacrifice, trust, and deep love and committment, all of which require much more thought and dedication than a romantic evening ever would.

I think this fade of romance applies to all relationships you have, too. For example, when you make a new friend, someone that you really connect with, you make much more of an effort to ensure a really good time when you hang out. You want to have deep, revealing conversations with each other, and you tend to think about that person a lot. It's a lot like having a crush, or just starting a relationship. But, eventually, that excitement is replaced by what comes with really knowing someone. You begin to cherish the silences when you are just together, silences that would have sent you into a panic before. Just knowing what is going on in each other's lives and being supportive to one another becomes more important than being considered the "fun" or "smart" friend. For example, I loved knowing that after an unusually long separation from one another, the first thing Maura and I wanted to do was just hug each other. That's it. Our only plan was to hug, not have some super, fancy girl's day out. Not that we would be against it, but it's just not important.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying romance is bad, despite what the title of this post suggests. I just don't see what the fuss is all about. Maybe people have the wrong idea about what is romantic. If Ross ever showed up with flowers and whisked me off to a fancy dinner, I'd be pleased, but I probably would be wondering what was wrong, what news needed to be presented on such a fancy platter. To me, romance is giving of yourself, your energy, and your time. The most romantic thing that Ross does is get up in the middle of the night to put Shooter in his crate once the pup starts pacing around the room. He knows I have trouble getting back to sleep, so he takes care of it.

That's not just romance; to me, that's love.

People are too scared to talk to strangers, I guess.

Today I made my way to J. Sarg. to get myself a student ID and parking pass. If you've never been to the Parham campus, the whole school consists of two buildings and some trailers. As I was standing in a line* that was nothing compared to the lines I was used to at UR but was apparently "ridiculous" according to the full time students, people were gathering around classrooms waiting for the next sessions to start. Directly to my left was a classroom that was locked. By the time I had gotten there, 5 people were sitting outside the door. They all knew the door was locked. And yet, everytime a new person came up, he or she would glance at the people waiting and go up and try the door. Never once did any of the people who already knew the door was locked say anything to their classmates. NOT ONCE. I watched this scene for 30 minutes. Of course, I could have said something**, but it was more interesting to watch how much these people did *not* want to talk to each other.

*Just as I left the ID services room, with parking pass and ID in hand, there was fire drill. All of the people in line had to leave the building and then get back in line once allowed back in the building. It was awesome.

**I was also too busy to talk to these people because I was chatting it up with my new friend Tina and her son, Mike, who is a junior in high school. Mike is obviously gay and his mother obviously has no idea. I didn't want to tell her that because she was nice enough to let me borrow her pen. I used the pen to fill out my car registration form, rather than to burst her bubble.

Stream of Consciousness a la Britney Spears

Shooter loves loves loves the smell of anything distributed by Mary Kay. He will rip himself from a sound sleep to stick his nose on my face and just breathe in the luxury.

I really need someone to go under my house again. We need to put a concrete block under one of our beams so it's not resting on the ground. If you do this, you can have our first born.

I bought a notebook for my class today. I really can't wait to write my name on the cover, but I'm trying to restrain myself.

The fact that I now have a printer makes me feel free and powerful.

They say you're either a Beatles person or an Elvis person. I am an Elvis person by nature, a Beatles person by assimilation.

Have you seen Justin Timberlake's new video for "SexyBack"? Oh my gawwwwwwd. Mmmm.

I hate mushrooms. THEY ARE A FUNGUS. Why don't you just go lick the toes of someone with athlete's foot?

Good night and good luck.

Don't come to my parties. I make you eat weird things.

So today was Robin's bridal shower. We had a fiesta in honor of her honeymoon in Mexico. There was lots of food and drink, and even some gross Mexican "candy." In leu of the typical shower games, I decided to have a battle of wills, to see who could last the longest with a pickled Chinese plum in their mouth. The plums are pickled, obviously, covered in salt, and are an odd shade of green. These plums are a popular snack with little kids in Mexico, and contain over 9,000 mg of salt per plum. It was a strong showing from all, but Theresa won in the end, lasting a full 15 minutes. She's a dark horse, that one. Everyone else spent the rest of the afternoon guzzling water and showing of their new Martian tongues (I never know how to spell that).

Robin got some good loot and I got many suggestions to start a career in party planning. I now have enough salsa to last the rest of my life, and will never have to buy paper plates or napkins again. Also, if I see a buritto ever again before I die, it will be too soon. Regardless, it was fun and I'd do it again, because she's my sister and she deserved a nice day just for her.

Happy Wedding, Sister! Today was the start of all of the festivities to come! I don't know if I can handle planning your bachelorette party, though. I might be too wholesome for that. But, I mean, I'll come. And drink. And dance. And drink.

So proud.

Ross went to the dentist for the first time in about 4 years. He had no cavities and was told to keep up the good work. A dentist visit was touchy area for us for a long time. I wanted him to go. He wouldn't. But now he has and I'm so proud.

This is a test

to prove to Ross that my laptop is crazy and loves to randomly pop up some search, "find" as it calls itself, whenever it wants. Of course, it's not happening when he looks.

Good news for all...

The tomatoes being put on the club sandwiches at Joe's ARE AMAZING. They are sweet like candy. I've had two sandwiches there in the last 3 days. AND I have a lunch date tomorrow. Ohhhhh, just to think about it.

Rock the Cradle of Love

There's no other reason for that title than that I've got the song in my head.

I think I may have a summer cold coming on. Or I just need to clean up all the dust in my house. It's probably the latter.

I got my $0.99 jeans today and I must say, I am a satisfied customer. They are already broken in for me which is awesome. It's weird though because they are the same type of jean, same size, but one pair is longer than the other. Not a problem, just weird. I know have a bid on some khaki pants on ebay. We'll see how that works out. Pretty soon I'll be buying groceries off of there.

So, we sold Ross's car. RIP Honda Civic Si. But now we get to pay off my car, have some left over, and not have a car payment every month anymore. Having one car is working out fine now, but we haven't had a rainy day yet. We shall see.

I sat on, I mean *for* Remus today. We played on the floor, practiced his sitting up skills, he chewed on his hand a lot because he finally cut his first tooth, and we danced around a lot. Then he started screaming, I fed him, and he passed out. I'm going to start calling myself "The Baby Whisperer."

I'm starting to hate the children who live next door to me. They yell and scream all day long. All. Day. Long. And they lose their dog all the time and are constantly calling her name. From this post you all know that I don't like it when such things happen. The worst part is, her name is "Mocha Cappuccino Jones." Seriously. And they call her entire name when she runs off, I guess so she won't get confused, what with all of the other Mocha Cappuccinos out there. I don't know how to spell Cappuccino. Fortunately I *can* spell Mocha and Jones.

I get to see my good friend Abby from UR tomorrow. She and her fiance are in town. I love love love Abby, but haven't seen her since my wedding. She was the only English major who I didn't want to punch in the face. As an English major myself, I wanted to punch myself in the face, because I was a really lousy/dumb/lazy/Cliff's notes reading English major (to clarfiy: I read the Cliff's notes because I didn't read the books, not because I didn't understand things. I'm *sure* I would have completely have grasped any and all material, because, after all, I was an English major). Anyway, Abby is crazy smart but not the kind of smart where she's a jerk. I'm very excited to see her.

Ok, time to go what a movie with my husband.

xoxo

What did you like best?

I watched the beginning of City of Angels today (Nicolas Cage at his most attractive, I think, and Meg Ryan pre-collagen). I just saw the part where as Seth is taking the little girl to heaven, he asks her what she liked best. She said pajamas with feet.

What would you say you liked best?

Status: Thrifty

I just got two pairs of jeans off of ebay for $0.99 each. The shipping is $6.95 each, bringing to just over $13.00. For jeans that are normally $58.00, I think that's pretty damn good. AND I woke up to 6 emails from people wanting to buy Ross's car. I'm going to have MILLIONS, I tell you, MILLIONS!

And you thought painter's tape was good for one thing.

Back to School

I have to go back to the school where I work on the 28th. We have a new Assistant Principal. She's actually the LD teacher for the 5th grade kids the whole time I've been there, so I know her really well. I'm super excited for her and for the kids because she's awesome.

I go back to *school* starting the week of the 21st. Recertification time is coming up. I was going to take a workshop this summer to get my credits out of the way, but the timeline for registration and me getting reimbursed for it got screwed up, so that idea was out. So, I'll be taking a class at J. Sargeant Reynolds on Oceanography. I can take this because I teach Science. The lecture is every Thursday night, and there's online stuff, too. I haven't been to school in a while, so we'll see how I do. I've already started getting excited about getting to take notes, because I'm a loser. And I want to know how I'm supposed to get my books. Do they have books there? What if I don't want to read the books? I'm sure everything will be on the Internet anyway.

Here's to more pencils, more books, and lots and lots of teachers' dirty looks. From me, not at me.

Sassy lady

Setting: Bejamin Franklin Craft Store, Richmond VA. Early afternoon.

Sassy lady: (yelling across three checkout lanes) Are those your eyelashes?!?!?

Me: Me?

Sassy lady: Yes, you. Are those your eyelashes?

Me: Yes.

Sassy lady: Dammit. (walks out of the door in a huff, shaking her head)

Me: (blink. blink.)

-Fin-

Thank you, Sassy lady?

Today

Didn't shower.

Sat on a baby. Not really. Rolled around on the floor with a baby.

Had my sister come to visit me on *her* birthday.

Had a wicked headache.

Skipped Bible study to nap.

Woke up from nap choking on my own spit.

Was thankful for gag reflex.

Texted Ross to find out where he and my dinner were.

Ate my dinner.

Talked to Ross on IM from down the hall.

Wondered if Lauren from Laguna Beach was mad that Kristin's (her rival for Stephen's affections on the first season) recent break up was higher up on the People.com "Latest News" column AND included a picture, while hers was a few lines down and only text.

Goodnight, friends.

A campaign for Anna

The following is an email from my good friend from UR, Anna. She calls herself "Fat Anna." Fat Anna lives in Reno which is far too far away. I often tell people that Anna is the funniest person I know. Now I have proof. Please read the email below and then comment on how she should have a blog so her humor can be shared with all.

So, if I was Dave Barry, I would have an excellent topic to write an article on right now...my dog. I have two dogs, actually. They have an unbelievable ability to entertain me. And by entertain, I mean cause me to want to return them to the pound where they came from. No, not really. I love them like they are my children but Spider came close to roaming the desert of Northern Nevada, looking for a herd of wild springer spaniels to join the other day.

I am an excellent dog owner. If I don't provide opportunity for my dogs to get ample exercise each and every day, I am riddled with guilt. We have a backyard where they can run around but that is not good enough. Not for a dedicated pet owner such as myself. Oh no. We must go to the dog park in order for me to have a clear head and feel as though I will not be arrested by animal control for abusing my animals. Perhaps I should seek help...

The dog park here in Reno is nothing short of amazing. It's about the size of 4 football fields and if you don't obey the laws, there are many trails you can hike on with the dogs off the leash. So, this is where we go on a regular basis to get our exercise. Now the idea behind the park is that other people also bring their dogs and maybe you walk around for a little while but in the end, the dogs exercise each other by chasing each other around at top speed for hours on end.

Ralph gets this idea. He is a champion at finding a dog who is as dopey as he and will run in circles, chasing him around and around, until they actually fall over from diziness. He runs and drools and falls down and all I have to do is stand there and feel really good that I am providing such a nice opportunity for my dog.

Spider, however, is different. He does not play. He does not run. He does not jump. He does nothing but sniff a butt or two if a butt or two happens to pass by his nose. He does not go out of his way even to sniff a butt. Oh no. When Spider goes to the dog park, he sits. He sits completely still and watches. He watches the other dogs run around. Now, if the other dogs happen to get close to him and appear to be having fun, this is when Spider leaps into action. At this point, he stands and barks wildly at these filthy beasts who dare come near him and disturb his sitting.

So, you can see how this poses a problem for me. I devote over an hour of everyday trying to ensure that my dogs get the exercise they need but simply taking Spider to the dog park does not ensure this. No no. More is required. So, when we get to the dog park, we must go on a lengthy walk so that Spider is forced to exercise. Please note that this requires me to also exercise because if I'm not moving, Spider is not moving.

So, we walk. During these walks, Spider actually emulates a real dog by running up ahead with Ralph and pretending to enjoy himself. They stick their heads in bushes (there are no bushes in Nevada, only sagebrush) and roll in any and all poop they happen to come across. It's nice. I used to think that rolling in poop was pretty much the worst trouble they could get into at the dog park. I was wrong.

One day last week, we were walking along and the dogs were showing a particular interest in some sagebrush along the path. I ignored them and continued to walk along. When they didn't follow, I turned to see what they were doing. Turns out, Ralph had caught a mouse. Well, I told him "RALPHIE, OUT!" and wouldn't you know, he dropped it!

Well, I hadn't thought far enough ahead because as soon as Ralph dropped it, Spider snatched it up. As I outlined earlier, Spider is a different sort of dog. I, of course, at this point shouted "SPIDER, OUT!" which caused Spider to "run" in the opposite direction, with the mouse in his mouth (I put run in quotations because Spider is the only dog I've ever met that I can actually run faster than).

So, Spider "ran" about 12 steps in the opposite direction and then got tired so he turned and began to walk back towards me. I grabbed him by the neck and tried to convince him to drop the mouse by shaking his head. This did not work. I twisted his head to the point where it almost popped off, still he held onto the mouse. (The mouse was quite dead by this point, so don't worry). I grabbed his jaw and tried to pry it open. Spider gave me the look like "you can puncture my teeth through my lips and I'm not dropping this mouse".

I didn't know what to do so we continued on our walk. It was pretty hot out so I figured that if we walked for long enough, Spider would have to drop the mouse in order to open his mouth to pant. Turns out, Spider's will is strong than the need to pant. So we walked, and walked, and walked...

Still the mouse hung out of Spider's mouth, dangling there, swinging back and forth...

At several points during the rest of our walk, I attempted to convince Spider to drop the mouse. I did the head twisting, the shaking, the jaw grabbing. I talked nicely to him. I yelled at him. He didn't give a crap.

I was running out of ideas, it was getting dark and I wanted to go home. My final idea was to bring Spider near the other dogs and maybe one of them could convince him to drop the mouse. Of course, going near the other dogs means going near their owners as well. So up we walk, mouse swinging in the breeze and people looking at me like I'm some kind of freak who allows their dog to not only catch mice but then keep them as a toy.

One lady took pity on me and tried to help me get it away from him. She offers him water. He sits down. The sight of the mouse at this point, is not worth mentioning because it will cause you to throw up on your computer screen as you read this. I know this because myself and this other woman were literally gagging as we tried to get the mouse away from Spider. I was pretty sure that I was going throw up right there at the dog park. That didn't happen though because right then, a dog came up to Spider, sniffed the mouse and Spider, to show that dog who was boss, swallowed the mouse. Yup, he just gulped down the entire mouse. And that ended that.

I think for my next pet I'll get a goldfish.

Stolen from James Lipton and Kristin over at DoubleVision (ps love your blog)

1. What is your favorite word?
Apparently


2. What is your least favorite word?
Specific (because a lot of people can't say it)


3. What turns you on creatively?
Humor


4. What turns you off?
People who cannot handle change


5. What is your favorite curse word?
Shit

6. What sound or noise do you love?
My dogs singing with passing fire engines


7. What sound or noise do you hate?
Any noise that is repeated over and over again


8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Nurse or midwife


9. What profession would you not like to do?
Factory worker


10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
I understand.

Happy Birthday, Sister/Friend.

Twenty-seven years ago today, my sister Robin was born. She was named by my brother who insisted she either be named Minnie Mouse, Robin (for Batman's sidekick), or she would have to be put back. In a rare moment of flexibility, my mother gave in and they went with Robin. Nicole, her middle name, came from a character from The Young and the Restless. (I would later be named for the actress who played Rhoda on The Mary Tyler Moore Show-my mother apparently LOVED TV while gestating).

Robin came 4 years after my brother, and 2 years before me, making her not only the middle child when I arrived, but also placing her in the thrashing fits of the terrible twos when I arrived. Fortunately for me, she was not yet able to act out *too* much while I was an infant, allowing me some time to develop my own defenses before the subsequent sibling battles began.

I could tell you about the time she threw a rock at my head. Or about how she used the magic of friction to get the tips of ballpoint pens really hot and then touch me with them (she was quite resourceful). Or about how she and my brother held me captive on the screen porch when I was six, *forcing* me to bust through the expensive and newly installed screen to freedom (they got in trouble for that). Or about how I kicked a hole in her door (she got in trouble for that). Or about how my mom really thought we might kill each other one day, what with the screaming, smacking, pushing, kicking, and more screaming that came with our closely blossoming adolescence and the fact that we went to the same high school together all day and THEN had to go home and actually live with each other. But I won't.

Instead, I'd like to tell you what I love about my sister. I love how much we love each other now. I love that we don't have sh*t to sort out; the way we treated each other can just be chalked up to brattiness from both sides and we move on. I love that she has a job that most people are too scared to have. I love that we don't have to talk in order to know what we are thinking. I love that we share a brother. I love how she has stepped into the role as Ross's sister with open arms. I love that my children will have her as an aunt. I love that she chose Matt to be in our family. I love her voice-speaking and singing. I can still pick her voice out in a crowd, whether she be on stage or in a group of people. It's not that she's loud, I think I'm just programmed to know where she is at all times. Her voice is one I've been hearing all of my life and one that I will luckily spend most of my life continuing to hear.

I just love her because we're sisters. She's my only sister, and I'm her only sister. We were born being special to each other. And it's a blessing.

Love you, Sister. I couldn't ask for a better one and I'm so proud of you. Have a wonderful birthday!

I turn my boredom into home improvement.

I start to go crazy around the end of July. As Ross and Stephanie know, a lot of times that craziness turns into taking on very courageous organization tasks or projects. This summer has proved to be no different. A couple weeks ago I redid the bathroom. I scraped wallpaper, patched holes, painted, removed flooring, and laid new tile. I also designed, constructed, and installed a mirror.

Apparently that wasn't enough. Early last Thursday morning (at like 3:00am) I decided to paint the downstairs hallway. I didn't have the paint at the time, but I did have painter's tape. Poor Ross woke up to blue lines on the wall that weren't there when he went to bed. I painted the hallway that day, and I must say, it looks awesome.

Tomorrow I will do some painting in our bedroom. We have some cracks in the plaster on the fireplace due to some old water damage, so I'll be spackling and covering that up with some nice accent color.

Later in the week I think I will take some Killz and cover up the water spots that Tropical Storm Gaston left on our ceiling.

I want Ross and my father-in-law to tile the hallway as my birthday present.

Anyway, yeah, if you haven't seen all of the changes, you should come take a look. It's looking pretty good.

School needs to start. Now.

Super Sunday of Satisfaction and Sloth!!!

Ross and I had a very good day today. After a wicked fight over whether to go to Fredericksburg to see Matt and Maura (I wanted to go, he didn't, even though they said they'd make him a pie), we decided to mend fences by spending some time together. We spent the first part of the day with Ross is the wonderful but elusive mood of "Let's say yes to everything that Valerie wants to do." So, we went to Perly's for lunch. Then we went to Diversity Thrift to look for stuff for Ross's office and to also gawk at some of the things on sale there (pictures to come later, hopefully). Then came the best part. I suggested we go to the SPCA to look at the dogs, AND HE SAID YES! So we went in, pet the baby puppies who were all stilled drugged from being fixed I think, and then went in the back room to look at all of the big puppies. We say two real German Shepherds names Zeus and Aries who were amazing, as well as many other cute dogs.

After that, we came home, Ross watched Star Trek: The Original Series while I took a nap on the couch. Then we ate Oreos and watched TV in bed with our wonderful pooches. It was a very nice day and I would say it made up for the disagreement that started the day. See, husbands, in order to counteract disappointment, all you have to do is give into every *other* whim of your wife, then all is forgotten. And I think I'm pretty low maintenance if all I want to do is eat some food, look at old furniture, and visit puppies.

Southern hospitality at its finest.

I made a quick trip into Kroger this evening to buy the essentials, i.e. Oreos, tortillas, Coke Zero, milk, bread, and ham. Apparently Kroger is *the* place to be on Saturday night. It was crazy busy, but, I guess since it was Saturday night and anyone who goes to Kroger on Saturday probably doesn't have a jammed-packed calendar, everyone was very laid back and moving lazily throughout the aisles. In fact, there were several times when people met at the intersection of aisles and kept insisting on letting other people go in front of them, just like at 4 way stops. Everyone is too busy being polite that no one moves at all.

Once I got to the check out line, I was sure the leisurely feeling would go away, as they only had two lanes open at the time. A gentleman got in line behind me, merely noted (did not complain) about the few checkout lanes, and went on to praise the Lord that the heat had finally calmed down a bit. As our conversation faded, they opened a new line, unbeknownst to me (honestly, I was too busy squinting at the cover of US Weekly a few feet in front of me to notice). The gentleman behind me made his way to the new line, asked the check girl to hold on a minute, then touched me gently on the elbow to let me know another line had opened, saying "Come on, friend." For real, he called me friend. Then, HE LET ME GO IN FRONT OF HIM. I even had like a million more things in my cart than him, and he still let me cut in front.

After thanking him for the tenth time, I headed out to the parking lot where I saw what one could call the icing on the cake. A young Kroger employee was pushing an ungodly number of carts back into the store, but trailing behind him was some random guy helping him load in a few carts that the employee couldn't fit in his row. The guy didn't even work there and was helping him out. It made me really happy.

Moral of the story, go to Kroger, let people cut in front of you, and when you see someone who needs a little help, give it to them. And call them "Friend" when you do it.

Should I be mad?

I encouraged Ross to watch this video of Britney Spears today so he could laugh at how ridiculous she is. While watching it he said, "Valerie (and he's serious when he says my name), you have no right to make fun of this woman. If I posted a video of some of the things you say and do when it's just the two of us, people would think you're an idiot, too." And all this time I thought he felt priveleged to be the only one who got to see my retarded (yeah, I know I shouldn't say that, but I did) side.

Passing out peaches

Today I bought a bag of Ukrop's Peaches. If you are from Richmond, you understand that a Ukrop's peach is the best answer to the sweltering August heat. I bought a total of 4, planning on having one with lunch and then putting the rest out at Potluck tonight. However, as my day progressed, the peaches had to go everywhere with me because my travels kepts me from getting home for a while.

When I picked up Brandon, they came into the Visual Arts Center with me. I was a little early so I took a seat on the couch. A lady came and sat next to me, drenched from the 30 second walk from the parking lot. I offered her a peach and she looked at me as if I had given her the promise for eternal youth. So, she and I chatted and each had a peach.

I offered Brandon one, but he had bought Life Savers from the vending machine. After taking him home, I had to drop something of at my mom's office. The peaches (-2) came into her office with me. I offered her one, and she squealed with delight. Like for real. She and I then made our way out to her car (with the peaches, now -3) to transfer various objects from my car to hers. Meanwhile, a lovely young man named Charlie had stopped by her work to fix a crack in her windshield (who knew people did that, btw?). We chatted with him as he put in the new windshield. Seeing that his T-shirt was soaking wet, obviously from hours of being out in the 100+ degree all day, I offered him the last peach. He would only take it on the condition that I swear, with my hand to the sky, that it was a sweet peach, otherwise he would go around town talking about me. I did as told and passed off the last peach from my batch to this deserving man.

Who knew that a bag a fruit would make my day and 3 other people's? I'll tell you who: Ukrop's. I think they inject a little bit of the heaven into those peaches. I mean, they are rich Baptists-they have connections like that, right? Unfortunately, the Potluck friends, including my husband, won't get to experience the peaches, but I think they'll understand.

Hmmmmm.

Now I'm not one to judge, but I'm a little perplexed about Mel Gibson's recent claims that the anti-Semitic remarks he made while being arrested for driving under the influence were simply just blurted out and not thought about. I mean, I've never been insanely drunk, but I doubt I would just randomnly ask someone if they were a Jew and then blame all of the wars in the world *on* the Jews. I guess when you're plastered out of your mind, thoughts from the deep wrinkles of your brain rise to the surface and come spewing out of your mouth. But, see, I think I would say something more like, "I only listened to 106.5 the Buzz in high school because I wanted to be cool," rather than comments about an entire culture/religion. But that's just me.

Ohhhhhh boys.

This week I am playing chapherone to one of my former (read: awesome) students named Brandon. Ross and I "sponsored" him this summer to take a class at the Visual Arts Center of Richmond. He's taking a cartooning class from 9-12 everyday this week. This involves me leaving my house at 8 to be at his house by 8:30 to be at the Arts Center by 9. I then pick him up at 12, take him home, and get back to my house around 1. It's the price you pay for helping the youth, I guess.

Anyway, as it was 879879.3 degrees, Brandon and I (mostly I) decided that we deserved Slurpees for even venturing out in the heat. I picked the Sunkist flavor. He picked Cherry. I was excited to show him how one fills up a Slurpee cup in order to achieve maximum fillage. He made a huge, sticky mess, but it was cute. Once in the car, he sucked down that Slurpee like none other, then spent the rest of the time giggling hysterically because his head hurt really bad. When I told him that the Slurpee coloring made him look like a vampire, he was even more excited and choked a little bit whilst laughing.

I gotta say, getting to be with one of my students in a much more relaxed situation where he could show pride in looking like the undead made the heat wave more tolerable.

Those were the days.

Maura had cuter hair than me. Ross and I were eating. Matthew was wacky/cute. Matt loved Colonial Williamsburg. Oh, wait. Everything is still the same. It's comforting, really.

Benny and the Jets can never defeat the Sharks.

Ross and I spent a lovely Friday evening getting fat. We ate taquitos, fritos, Doritos, Oreos, and other foods ending with "o". As we gobbled down our O food, we watched our latest NetFlix arrival, West Side Story. I warned Ross that I would be singing for the entire 2 hours and 20 minutes, and he assured me that he remembered the movie and knew the songs, too. How could I have been so stupid?

As we watched the Overture (yes, there is an overture in the movie), he asked me how that song went that the guy and the girl sang to each other.

Ross: Does it go, "When you get stuck between the moon and New York City..."?

Me: No. That's from Arthur. This movie is a little different.

Realizing the "hilarity" of his mistake, he obviously ran with it, insisting that was the song they sang for each other and kept asking as the movie went on when they were going to sing that song.

As we watched the conflict between the Jets and the Sharks unfold, Ross made an emphatic delcaration.

Ross: Benny and the Jets can never defeat the Sharks. The Sharks are Puerto Rican so they are much cooler.

Me: Benny and the Jets was actually an Elton John song and there is no one in the movie named Benny.

More recgonition of his "hilariousness" ensued and he spent most of the rest of the movie making this declaration. That is, until he got bored and said he was done watching the movie. I fooled him and told him he was going to miss the dramatic climax (keep in mind that this was after everyone has been killed and all of the frantic running, singing, and dancing had commenced). As the credits ran after the somber reconcilliation of the two gangs, I felt some satisfaction for making Ross watch the last few minutes during which I'm sure he was thinking, "When is someone gonna freak out and kill everyone?"

I spent some time last night thinking about why watching movies with Ross is what it is. When agreeing to watch a movie with him, you are agreeing to spend the majority of the movie identifying people for him and correcting his misconceptions about what is going on. I tell myself that this happens, not because he is lacking intelligence, but rather he has so much information packed into his brain from reading the Internet all day that things are bound to get mixed up. Yeah.

More announcements.

No more Spanish. I got confused. So, I guess you will all get Alzheimer's afterall.

I've added a site meter to my blog finally. It's sad to look at now. Please tell your friends to come read it.

I submitted a volunteer application to the SPCA so I can be a do-gooder.

Cole slaw is delicious.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement to make.

ALL, yes that would be ALL, of my students passed the Reading and Science tests. 100%. Todo. Every single child that I taught Reading and Science to passed. This is after 100% passed the Writing test in March. Needless to say, I am bouncing off the walls and my principal is very happy with me.

Note

I have changed the settings on my blog to Spanish. This will exercise your brain as you try to make comments. You will thank me later as you realize that my decision has delayed the onset of Alzheimer's. Thank yous will accepted in the forms of cash, puppies, and diamonds.

The Ultimate Sacrifice.

I hit a new low today. I have got baby fever to the max. I'm ready. I'm over thinking about myself and just worrying about me. I'm ready to move on in life and be responsible for a child, to take care of someone and raise them in a way that will allow them to make a positive contribution to the world. I look at children as a responsibility given to you by God. It's like He's saying, "Here, this is mine. Please take care of it for me." I'm ready to gladly accept the challenge. But, we're both not there yet, and if you're both not ready, then you're not ready period. It's obviously not the time and I need to deal with it. Easier said than done, but I'm working on it.

Anyway, Ross is being awesome about the whole thing. He's being supportive and loving and understanding. And tonight he took me to Friendly's for dinner. He hates Friendly's. Most people do. I, however, love Friendly's. Not for ice cream, but for a full, sit down dinner. I ordered the same thing I've been ordering there since I learned how to speak. It was glorious. And Ross let me get a soda, too, even though sodas at restaurants cost $1.50. It's these small things that show me how just wants me to be happy, and I love him for it so much.

I got a wonderful email from my friend Stephanie today, helping me out with this whole baby thing. She said:
Hello my dear friend
This morning in the shower, which is where I do my best thinking as you may already know, I was thinking of you and our conversation last night. I think you are right where you need to be. You can do a lot of things without guys as I well know, however you can't make a baby without one. I think there is a pretty good reason for that. I think God has a very special time for your baby when it will have the best dad it can have. Ross isn't going to be the best dad ever until he thinks he can be, whether that be tomorrow afternoon or 5 years from now. Either way you will have a beautiful baby that will be spoiled by me. I think those are all the wise words I have for this morning. Have a lovely Monday. Day is coming up here on Friday night, feel free to jump in the car with her!....once you have a baby you can't do that you know.

Love,
Stephanie

For someone so small, she is very wise. Anyway, she's right. Completely and totally. When the time comes, my wonderful husband will be the best dad ever and our children will be very lucky. I mean, he went to Friendly's, for Pete's sake, and he did that for me. Can you imagine what he would do for his own children? I'm a lucky lady.

Sleeping but not proud of it.

A year and half ago I was diagnosed with chronic anxiety. My condition caused abnormal stress levels, heart palpitations, and insomnia. Since my diagnosis, I have been on two medications: Lexapro (to help boost my seratonin) and Clonazepam (to be taken at night to help shut of my brain and keep me from fixating on things). Since going on these medications I have realized how normal people react to stressful situations, and I've also been blessed with what a real night's sleep feels like. Since getting on these meds, I've been happier, healthier, and much more easy going.

A couple days ago, I ran out of the Clonazepam. Being that it's the summer and I am considerably less stressed out then than during the school year, I thought I'd just see how would do without taking it for a couple days. Maybe my balanced seratonin levels would be enough to allow me to rest. No go. I didn't sleep for three nights. I didn't allow myself to nap on the days in between, thinking that would help. Still no go. The second the lights went out, off my brain went on tangents in every directions while my nervous habits, i.e. rubbing my eyebrows and grinding my teeth, came swooping back to join me. It was maddening.

Not only was I exhausted, I felt weak and disappointed in myself. I hated how I needed a pill to help me go to sleep. I don't know why I care. My doctor prescribed these for me and told me that when patients have anxiety to the point where they need medication, that's usually because the coping strategies that other people use aren't enough for those patients. I got the pills filled and got a good night's sleep last night. Still, I hate that I might have to be on them forever. Why can't I just calm myself down, shut up, and relax?

Any thoughts?

And Bob's your uncle.

I spent my Saturday helping Ross and Ryan prime and paint the PharrOut office over on Main Street. First we primed the walls and then began applying their selected wall color. Let's just say it's orange. I think it'll look awesome once it's finished, but Ross and Ryan are being girls about it and keep himming and hawing. They can't do anything about it, though. It's up there and I'm sure as hell not priming anything again. Hopefully they'll get it done in time for Scott's triumphant return from Babytown (yes, the baby was born on Wednesday, it is a girl, she is big, she is super cute, etc. etc.) and the world will be as it should be once again. Let's just say, ever since Christi went into labor, I have had a very nervous husband and we are all counting the days until the end of Scott's paternity leave. Anyway, the second coat goes on tomorrow. Not sure if I'll be there for that part. I mean, I donated like 7 hours of my precious napping/tv watching time to help. I got to make up for lost time tomorrow.

He didn't understand the words that were coming out of my mouth.

Tonight Ross and I had dinner at the Olive Garden, which was lovely. Many of you know that we are on our supertight budget, but thanks to a gift card from los padres de Remus, we got to treat ourselves to some fine, I-talian cuisine. After gorging ourselves on breadsticks, salad, and other fabulous carbohydrates (and having our first real conversation in many months-meaning we didn't talk about Star Trek or bikes), we passed our card along to the waitress. The card covered all of our meal, but only about half of our tip. The meal itself cost $22.52. That left us with a $2.48 balance on the card. You're with me, right? Being the sister of a server, I couldn't leave that measly little tip-we wanted to go with closer to $5.00. Still with me? So, I proceed to fill in the charge slip and tip the waitress the remaining $2.48, planning on leaving an additional $2.00 in cash for the lovely young lady who kept feeding our fat faces all night. I hope you're still with me, because that was where Ross's mind was completely blown. He looked at what I was doing, shook his head and said "No..." (and those of you who know Ross know exactly what that "no" sounded like), grabbed the slip, scratched out what I wrote, and filled in $4.48 on the tip line of the charge slip. The charge slip that showed we only had $2.48 left on the card. Meaning we would have, in fact, owed the server $2.00. $2.00 that I was planning on leaving on the table. $2.00 that Ross insisted we didn't have to leave on the table because we had written on the slip that we were giving it to our server.

After much yelling/whispering at ultrasonic levels and gesticulating to get my point across, my blood boiling with each smug wag of Ross's head, the muscles in his face relaxed, his eyes opened wide as if he had just been revealed the secret to eternal youth, and he said "Ohhhhhhhhh." Flabbergasted, I snatched back the slip, filled in the *correct* amount, tossed the cash on the table, and stalked out of the restaurant. Don't worry. I took Ross with me.

Moral of the story: If you ever get a check from Ross made out for $1,868,769,980,342.78 I wouldn't cash it because he probably doesn't have it, but seems to think it's ok. I like to think that he's really just saying, "If I *had* this, I'd give it to you, man."


Note: I love Ross more than anything. Not in spite of this episode, but because of it.

Praising the Lord for what Ross and I have.

Our family is crazy-wonderful.

We have no debt.

We both have jobs that we love.

We love the city we live in.

Our friends are beautiful, hilarious, good-hearted people.

We love each other more than anything. And we like each other a crazy amount, too.

We've been given far more than we deserve and we know it.

Longing for fall...

As the days drag on through this mid-summer's heat wave, I find myself counting the days until I get to walk outside in long sleeves and real shoes, get in my car, and do something with the day. I spend most of my year in anticipation of summer. For me, summer means the end of the school year, time to clean the slate and wait for the next batch of kiddies to arrive. Honestly though, I get over summer really quickly. It's not in my nature to just sit and not have anything to do. I'm thrilled with any task I'm given and become pitifully reliant on the television and my dogs for entertainment. For me, summer means being trapped in my own head, my brain clicking away with what I want to accomplish but can't yet because it's not time. For me, idle hands mean an overactive, hypersensitive mind that spends its time making up things to worry about.

The fall means back to work, time to use my brain, to occupy myself, to become exhausted and worn out, to not give my brain time to click-click-click away at night because it's too tired to do anything but shut down and let me rest. Yes, I think I'm ready for that again.

Someone please adopt this dog or I might have to.

His name is Jeremy and he's at the Richmond SPCA. I met him yesterday when my mom was looking for a new dog. He's very mellow and is more interested in cuddling than getting into trouble. And when you brush his hair forward he looks like a lion.

More Dog Stuff, cause that's how I am

So I had to take Zapp into the vet again last week to get her ears checked again. Good news-her ears were clear of infection and it only cost $28 to meet with the vet this time. Anyway, while I was there I asked the vet about the "grapes being toxic to dogs" controversy. He said, in fact, that yes it has been found that grapes can cause liver and other organ damage in dogs, but it's a finding that's popped up only in the last 8-12 months. He said a grape every now and then is fine, but don't let the dogs have access to a whole bunch because they'll think they're for them, eat them, and possibly die. So FYI.

Apparently Shooter loves flowers off all types, real or faux. A couple posts ago I mentioned that I sewed felt flowers on a tank top I have. Shooter first encountered this the other day and he kept smelling the flowers on my chest. The shirt is now draped across the arm of the rocking chair and he keeps coming up to it, gently pressing his nose to it to see if it smells. He exactly like Ferdinand the Bull, a character from a story that makes Ross feel emotion and he therefore cannot read.

Frustrated

So I've been working out almost everyday for 2 weeks, drinking more water, and eating better. But I've gained 4 pounds. W.T.F.

New Developments

My body has become addicted to water as of late. I decided about 1 1/2 weeks ago that I was going to drink a ton of water everyday for 3 weeks until it became a habit (this worked for reading the Bible-Ross and I have been reaidng the Bible every night for almost 2 years because of someone telling us that theory). Well, now if it gets to be noon and I haven't had approx. 2 liters of water, my body basically shuts down. My stomach hurts, my head hurts, and I become very crabby. I guess water is a good thing to be addicted to, though.

In other news, I now sweat an obscene amount when I exercise. We're talking rolling off on me in buckets sweating. Like Gatorade-commercial sweat, except it's not colored. I've been exercising a lot lately, too. This comes more from boredom and poverty, rather than the desire to be healthy. Exercising is the only thing that I can afford to do that keeps me busy. I'm guessing maybe the ridiculous amount of sweat I produce relates to the ridiculous amount of water I consume. But, while it's disgusting, I'm kept very cool during my workouts. The human body. It's an amazing thing.

My mother is either obsessed with me getting pregnant or terrified of me getting pregnant. Everytime I mention that I'm tired or not feeling well (usually a result of the water withdrawal), she immediately asks, "Are you pregnant?" I wonder if she does this with everyone or just me. I think it'd be pretty funny if she did it with everyone, though.

I crafted it up on Wednesday whilst watching Project Runway with some lady friends. I had seen some tank tops in Need with little felt flowers and such sewn on them. These tank tops cost about $40. I realized earlier this week that I a) had felt and b) had a tank top. I put them together and magic happened. Very cute magic if I do say so myself. I wore it yesterday, and I must say it was a hit. Well, it was a hit with Ross since he was the only person I saw yesterday, but it's a start. I mean, he's hip.

I have the best brother in the world. I knew this already, but he sealed the deal today. I went to Diversity Thrift and bought a credenza-something-or-other for the dining room. Upon realizing that it wouldn't fit in my car, I called my brother and offered him lunch to come pick it up and help me load it into my house. Boy howdy, he earned that lunch. My arms are apparently useless, so I wasn't much help to him. Fortunately Peggy, a lady who lives down the street and keeps all of her furniture on her front porch to make room for her plants inside, came to help. She helped Bryan load the monstrosity into the house, telling him that as he lifted it to pretend that he had to pee in his pants and had to hold it in. Apparently this helped and made the lifting easier. The more you know, kids. The more you know.

That's all for now. Oh, btw, the monstrosity originally cost $75, but I got it for $40. I attribute it to my smile and charm, not that it had been sitting in the store for 2 months.

Life view

1. Break a sweat at least once a day.
2. There is never a reason to be rude, especially to people you don't know.
3. Blondes should never leave the house without mascara. Brunettes should never leave the house without blush.
4. Boys (and men) just want you to be proud of them. Be sure to tell them that you are.
5. Park far away so you have to walk.
6. Smart boys will end up with the girls who are goofy. Pretty only gets you so far.
7. If someone constantly refers to things that make them sound smart, they probably aren't that smart.
8. Getting a dog is always a good idea.
9. Along the same lines, dogs should always be allowed on the bed with you.
10. Siblings and cousins are some of the best thing on God's green earth.

Most Popular

Ross and I were talking the other night and we decided that when it really comes down to it, Shooter is the most popular living thing in our house. Zapp is in love with him and Ross and I are constantly pleading with him to cuddle us and play. He's got us all in the palm of his hand. Paw. Oh you know.

What I did today:

*Got up at 8:15
*Went to church (via bicycle)
*Vaccuumed the entire house
*Did a load of laundry
*Weeded and spiffed up the front flower bed
*Pulled vines in the backyard
*Bug-bombed the shed
*Sprayed the "red-shouldered" bugs who love our backyard and are slowing making their way to the house-many souls were lost
*Called Mexico (the restaurant, not the country) to arrange catering for my sister's shower
*Called my mother to tell her how grown up I was by calling Mexico (still the restaurant, not the country)
*MOWED THE FRONT LAWN WHILE *SOMEONE* JUST WATCHED AND LAUGHED AT ME

I'm amazing.

Can I just say...

that I love Will Ferrell?

My heart explodes with love.

When we give Zapp her ear medicine, we feed her grapes so she will stay still. She love love loves grapes and she will pretty much suffer through anything to get this tasty treat. However, apparently she now associates grapes with having stuff put in her ears. Consequently, whenever she sees a grape, she shakes her head furiously before gladly accepting her snack.

I picked some flowers from one of our bushes out front and put them in a bud vase in our hallway. Shooter likes to gently smell them each time he passes. He too loves grapes. Whenever the fridge is opened, he puts his face as close to them as possible without actually touching them, as not to overstep his boundaries.

Babytown, USA

I got to babysit for Remus, the insanely adorable 4 month-old belonging to Mark and Jen, this evening. I spent my night feeding, changing, bathing, and soothing the somewhat fussy child, and I loved loved loved every single second of it. For some reason I am not at all bothered by the mess or the crying that comes with being around babies. I think it's because I like that I know how to fix it and I know how to make everything ok for them again. Plus, if I do say so myself (and I do), I'm pretty darn good at making them laugh A LOT. So, I go to sleep tonight feeling good about myself and grateful that I have a new little friend. I mean, he better consider me his friend. After all, he chewed on my hand for two hours, spit up on me, and I still wanna hang out with him.

P.S. If you or anyone you know needs a babysitter, let me know. I am not crazy and I have references. And I need money because I am Ross's sugar-mama.

Fatt

So I was all set to work out, and then I realized that it was almost 10pm. I decided that instead it would be more appropriate to each some crackers and watch T.V., cause, I mean, you don't have to take a shower after doing that.

I'm one of those people I hate.

I hate it when people don't update their blogs. Then I realized today that I haven't written for almost 2 weeks. I'm sure you're all gnashing your teeth in anticipation of what I have to say.

The Dominican was great (pictures to come later). We slept, ate, and drank our little hearts content. The trip back sucked due to torrential downpours and being held by customs for a little bit. The hilight of the trip back was definitely hearing a woman say to her daughter, "I don't know, Jane! I've never been to the Wendy's in Punta Cana." You probably had to be there.

I spent Sunday at my aunt's house for our annual family picnic. We also got to use the time to celebrate my cousin Sidney's 1st birthday. There was much looking at the baby and trying to get her to walk. She's very very close and VERY cute.

Monday involved going to the dentist and then piling both dogs into the car for a trip to the vet. $500 later they were vaccinated, poked, prodded, flea and heartworm protected, and released. Zapp has an ear infection, the diagnosis of which made of the bulk of the bill. She now gets ear drops twice a day, along with ear cleanings. Let's just say, she does not like this and will probably never let me near her again.

I spent Tuesday helping my sister with wedding stuff and getting my haircut. It was a good day, made even better by getting a free lunch.

Today is my first day back that I haven't done much. I had to go to the doctor this morning to get a mole removed (sexy, I know). He was really good because he actually told me that certain parts of the procedure would hurt, adding though that since I'm a girl I should be able to take it. He was right, I was tough and now sans mole. I quickly came home to watch reruns of Magnum P.I. and fall asleep for 3 hours. I still haven't showered and I love it.

That's all for now. I cannot guarantee that my updates over the next few months will even resemble anything interesting, because school's out and I have to children to exploit for the sake of humor.

SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER!

School will actually be out tomorrow at 1:30, but I will be too busy packing/getting ready to go to the Dominican. We will be back late on Saturday the 24th. Until then, I will leave you with this:

"I would rather be a prostitute on Broad Street than drive a schoolbus on the last day of school."

-My Mentor

Well now

This lady, my friends, told me that I was "looking SO good" today. She's the mother of one of my kids. She's even more stunning in person, and she knows her stuff. That gave me quite the confidence boost today.

BTW

I'm cute. Watch out.

We in then out again.

We're back from Asheville. I will tell you nothing about it until we get our pictures developed and scanned. Yeah, that's right. We had to use a camera with film. Shut up.

Today marked the last week of school. The long weekend away from the babies did me good. We had our first graduation practice and they did an awesome job. I think they did so well because I drew a bird's eye view of the set up, complete with x's and arrows. Brandon commented that if someone were to walk in on us, it would look like we were plotting to rob a bank or something. That made me want to take him home with me and keep him as my own.

I came home and Ross made me a double-decker PB and J. Then I fell asleep. I gave Shooter-Bell a bath. He was really dirty. Then I put some techno, or as some call it "electronic" music on my shuffle and exercised for a super long time. Now I am sweaty. I have had 3 liters of water to drink in the last two hours and I have yet to pee. Hmmm.

Tomorrow we have a pizza party and some more graduation practice. I know they will do awesome, both at eating the pizza and the practicing. Tomorrow is our last full day of school. Friday is our last day and then Ross and I are off to the Dominican via Alexandria and a stay at Stephanie's house. I'm so excited for all of these events. Especially the pizza.

We out.

Tomorrow Ross and I head off for Asheville to celebrate our anniversary in style. And by in style I mean getting fat and sleeping a lot. I can't wait. I'm especially excited because I get a break from my water-balloon-throwing, cussing, flicking-off, spacing out, drama-stirring children. Hopefully this break will get me through the last week of school.

This pretty much says it all...

Thanks to Maura's flickr for the pic.

Three years later...

Three years ago today I was making the final preparations for my wedding. For me, the day before the wedding sticks out more in my mind than the actual day. My wedding day was kind of a blur, a wonderful one, but a blur nonetheless. But, I vividly remember the day before it. I woke up after my bachelorette party (thankfully not hungover, due to my lovely sister's expertise) and spent the day taking deep breaths, trying to hold my anxiousness to a level at which I could still function. I remember the butterflies in my stomach, the nervous fidgeting, the random bubbling of emotions, and the pure excitement I felt as I looked at Ross and realized that we would be getting married the next day. I remembered when he dropped me off at my parent's house after the rehearsal dinner. It was strange-how do you say goodnight to the person who will suddenly become your husband the next day, to the person who you would be starting a life with the next day. All we did was hug and say "I love you" and "See you tomorrow." When I think about that day, all of those feelings come back. My stomach is even feeling a little fluttery now as I write this. I think speaks pretty well for us...


Happy Almost Three Years Married, Hubs. I love you.

Love you,
Your Wife

10 things I love. Then 10 things I'm fascinated by. Then 10 people who have to do this, too.

Things I love:
1. My staple gun
2. My rubber gloves
3. Tic-Tacs
4. Tweezers
5. Rubber spatulas (yet I have none)
6. French fries
7. Voice mail
8. Bic pens (just the kind with the pointy, blue cap)
9. Black socks
10. Buttons

Things I'm fascinated by:
1. Mormons
2. How cranberries are harvested
3. Sororities
4. Nuns
5. Amish people
6. Pollination
7. How babies fit in women's bellies (how does everything fit?)
8. Other people's kitchens
9. The phenomenon of all celebrities now having babies before getting married
10. The return of the skinny jean

People who have to do this now:
1. Ross
2. Maura
3. Robin
4. Matt the Sister's Fiance
5. Chris
6. Andi
7. Justin
8. Kate
9. Matthew
10. Bryan

WAHOO!!!!

98% passing rate on the writing test!!! Only one didn't pass and we're appealing it becuse he is soo close!!!