Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Marriage.

I'm only 25 so I haven't done a whole lot, but I can say without hesistation that marrying Ross is the best thing I ever did. This realization came to me this morning as I looked over and saw him sleeping. He was lying there (having taken ALL of the sheet, as per usual), with his face smushed into the pillow, lips pouting out, hand curled up under his chin as if pondering something. I love seeing him like this. It's not because it's the only time he's quiet (which is the complete truth-he goes from dead asleep to 574,657 miles per hour in 4 seconds flat). I love seeing him like this because this is how he always looks in the morning. I look at him and think, "That's my Ross." It's the most comforting thought and pleasant feeling I could ever ask for.

As of June 7, we will be married for 4 years. True, that's not the longest marriage in history (unless we are talking about Hollywood history), but it's the longest out of our close friends. We love our marriage and we take pride in it. That's not to say that we think we are better than other people. We have our problems. But we love how our marriage started and how it works.

Ross and I met in high school. We started dating the summer before junior year. We broke up the fall of senior year. Then we kind of got back together that spring. We were definitely not together that summer, but we were back together the in the fall of 1999. A romance reblossomed and sustained with the help of Instant Messenger. That's what we'll be naming our first born out of gratitude.

We got engaged in the fall of 2001. That's right. He was almost 21. I had just turned 20 a month earlier. It is absurd to me to think of that now, but that's how it went. We were married a year and half later.

It would be completely accurate to say that Ross and I are growing up together. We are so different than how we were when we first met, even from when we first got married. A lot of people warned me that it was dangerous to get married so young. You change so much in your 20's and that could mean changing in ways that don't compliment one another, thus drifting apart.

Things have changed. They are so much better than I could have ever imagined. I am so proud of the person Ross is becoming and I am grateful that I have been here to see this new person take shape.

I've changed, too. Ross requires me to be honest at all times. I don't know if he realizes this, but it's true. There's no point in trying to pretend to be something I'm not, because he knows me so well. There is no room for being shy or pretentious. You are who you are, and you're loved totally and completely, no matter what.

We laugh all the time. All. the. time. Before Ross came along I was extremely self conscious. Now I'll pretty much say anything, especially if there's a chance that he will laugh. You know, a laugh where he tries to talk but can't because he's so tickeld by something I've said or done. When that happens, it's like the heavens have opened up and angels are singing.

Ross and I have the expectation for each other that we will always be kind, whatever that means or whatever that looks like. I think that our shared desire to do good is one of the strongest joining forces in our marriage.

My love for Ross has not only grown exponentially, but also changed profoundly. He is my partner in every sense of the word. We are in this together and I'm so proud to be able to say that.

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