Holy Lord

I love living in the city. Seriously, I do. But, there are two things that I would call "undesirable" about my surroundings: birds and cats. Here's why...

We don't really have what you would call darkness in the city. Street lights run all night. Street lights that stand right alongside trees. Trees with birds. Birds who think the street light is the sun. Birds who consequently chirp 24 hours a day. All day and night with the "GOOD MORNING!!! HELLO!!!!! GOOD MORNING, NEIGHBOR-FRIENDS!!!!!"

First of all, I hate cats unless they're kittens (like my kitten named Boots who Ross will never let me get so I ended naming my MacBook Boots instead). My hating of all things feline kind of puts our city cats at the top of my shit list, even above having to trim your fingernails and people who somehow believe that throwing cigarettes out of the window isn't littering. See, a lot of cats in the city are stray cats. STRAY AND CRAZY. They cry and fight and cry and fight and cry and cry and cry all night long. Except their crying sounds like babies rather than cats - babies being thrown into boiling hot water.

If I were a super hero, my power would be "selective deafness."