Your child completely ruined my shopping trip this evening. I walked into the store, got myself an iced-venti-chai (with my Starbuck's giftcard courtesyt of Pharrout), and was eagerly anticipating what I would buy with the $9.92 left on my gift card from my brother and bonus-sister when my attention was ripped from the display of cute tunic tops to the front of the store by an ear-piercing, blood-curdling shriek. That shriek came from your child. Yes, the one who was screaming, "I WANT MY GUMMIES!!!!!!!!!! IIIIIII WAAAAAAAANNNNT MYYYYYYYY GUMMMIIIEEEEEESSSS!!!!!!" The one who when reaching the end of his sentence achieved a pitch that could have shattered diamonds. The one who then proceeded to throw his body on the floor and continue screaming. The one who became as a limp as a protestor when you tried to peel him off of the floor. THE ONE WHO YOU GAVE THE DAMN GUMMIES TO JUST TO SHUT HIM UP SO YOU COULD GO BUY YOUR OVERPRICED BUT BEAUTIFULLY PACKAGED METHOD CLEANSERS AND "CAN-YOU-BELIEVE-I-GOT-THIS-FROM-TARJAY-BEADED-SWEATER" WHILE TALKING ON YOUR BEDAZZLED CELLPHONE. That one.
It was me who stood there and stared at you with my mouth open. It was me who you made eye contact with and then abruptly turned the other way. IT WAS ME WHO WAS JUDGING YOU AND I DON'T FEEL BAD ABOUT IT AT ALL. And here's why: I have never been a mother of a child, but I have been a teacher to about 300 children and I know that unless you learn how to say no to your kid and realize that discipline is more important than shopping, I will be spending the better part of a schoolyear trying to teach your child limits once he reaches fifth grade. GET IT TOGETHER.
Sincerely,
Opened mouth girl with the obscenely large Starbucks cup who shot laser beams at you with her eyes
*Note to reader: I normally hate all caps. I could find no other way to express my frustration on this matter.
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