So, I guess this is really happening.

I finished my portfolio for that interview I told you about. I also told my team members at school that A) I'm interviewing for that position and B) either way it goes, I won't be back next year. I almost (almost, almost) wanted to cry when saying it, partly because I'm happy/excited, partly because I'm sad/scared. I told them that I need to step away from teaching in the classroom for a little while, to focus on other things, namely my own life. Teaching is all-consuming. Don't get me wrong. It's wonderful. Wonderful. But I require myself to give 100% to everything I do. And as we know, mathematically, that can't really happen. I've always said that I never wanted to be someone who was defined by what their job is, and that's how things are now. I owe it to myself and my friends and my family to be emotionally available. I have no idea what is going to happen. I know what I want to happen and I know how I want the next few years to look, but who knows how it will really go. It's funny. Normally I don't do well with being in limbo, but I'm liking not knowing what to expect.