Guess where I went today!!!!

Here's a clue:


Sorry. It's probably a little off color to put a picture of a speculum on my blog. But, considering *I'm* the one that had to spend some time with this God-awful instrument today, I only feel but so bad.

Yes, I saw my good friend Dr. Miller today. I love Dr. Miller, despite the fact that I shudder each time April approaches as I know it's time for that annual exam that only 50% of the population must have. He's a very kind man and he keeps it relatively warm in his examination rooms, which is nice. However, I don't like how I have to spend so much time waiting in his examination rooms. I would much rather wait in the waiting room where clothes are allowed. When you are in the examination room you have to wear a hospital gown. Well, I guess it's a gown. It's more like the suggestion of a gown. The word "gown" implies a garment of much breadth that give you coverage. This gown opens to the back AND front and you have to sit "just so" to keep all of your goods covered. At least I've learned to keep my dignity and keep my socks on during these visits.

Everything went fine. Then of course he asked me when I was going to give him some babies. I thought this was odd. I was under the impression that *I* get the babies. He really should have asked when I was going to give him some more money. Then he told me that things were really "ideal" for me to start "working on that." He even said I looked perfect. I said "Thank you?" I mean, what do you say when some compliments your reproductive health? Rather than compliments, I would prefer a coupon that excuses me from next year's exam.

All of this took 5 minutes. Yes, 5 minutes of examining after 55 minutes of waiting. Waiting in the examining room, not in the waiting room. I guess it's better than him examining me in the waiting room. Oh well, the walls in his new office are so thin that I got to hear all of his conversations with his other patients. I now know that the lady next door is having bladder issues and the girl across the hall will only quit smoking when she gets wrinkles. On a much more exciting note, I got to hear a woman hearing her babies heart beat for the first time. It sounded like WHUH WHUH WHUH WHUH mixed in with her saying, "Oh, wow!" over and over again. I must say, that was very exciting. I imagine it would have been more exciting to have heard it while wearing underwear, though.