Everyone should know this.

When someone is drinking water and it's gone down the wrong pipe, you don't need to ask them 35,342 times if they are ok. When this happens, all you want to do is cough to get the water out, not have to nod your head every 2 seconds to make bystanders feel better.

P.S. The church friends DID have the baby! And, yoga was awesome to the maxx. I can't wait to go next week.

Things you should be thrilled about

• I've lost 1 pound and I don't care where it is.
• Big Phannie is coming to RVA Easter Weekend.
• We *think* some friends from church had their baby.
• Tomorrow is Friday.
• I've gotten two, count 'em two, kind and supportive emails from a parent who used to scare the bejeezus out of me.
• I'm trying out the Yoga class at Gold's tonight.
• Yoplait yogurt (shut up, Ross, you win) was on sale at Kroger: 5 for $3.
• I've already had 64 ounces of water today.
• Today is the last day of our SOL simulation testing.
• This list is finished.

Prickly Pear

Apparently one of the side effects of going off of Lexapro is a tingling sensation, sometimes described as "electric shocks." Boy howdy, that has kicked in today. I wouldn't describe it as an "electric shock" but rather "pins and needles." All over my body. All of the time. It's not painful, just weird. Stretching and massages are apparently the best treatment for this. Gift certificates or cash donations will be accepted.

Other exciting news...

I talked to my doctor last week and we came to a decision. It's time for me to try going of my anti-anxiety medication. I've been on it for almost two years and I was ready to give myself a chance. He was really wonderful about the whole thing. I think a lot of doctors would have just said "Ok" and sent me on my way. After a couple days of phone tag, we actually got to talk about it in depth. He asked me why I wanted to go off of it and what coping strategies I was going to use instead. We talked about the importance of keeping up the exercise and the strategy of saying "no" to things (and people) that expose me to unnecessary stress. He assured me if it doesn't work out that I shouldn't be disappointed in myself and we will figure out the best thing to do next. And to think I was actually going to switch doctors.

It Is Well with My Soul

This hymn gets me every time. Particularly this verse:

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

Either I sing it louder than anyone in church or I can't get the words out at all because they get me so choked up. I think I love this verse so much because is what I have the hardest time grasping. Probably because when I forgive people, I don't *really* forgive them for a while. Dr. Phil would say I'm a "scorekeeper" because I tend to log people's mistakes in my mind and hold on to them for a long time. I can't believe that with all of the mistakes I've made and continue to make, big and small, that someone actually forgives me totally and completely.

New member of the family!

This is Sadie! No, she's not ours (unfortunately). My mom and step-dad will be getting her in the next few weeks. I can tell by looking at her that I'm already her favorite. Her teeny tiny ears kill me with their cuteness. She will be staying with us for a week in June and I am SO EXCITED. Hopefully my two gigantic pups won't eat her.

Weekend Wrap Up...

Friday: I was going to take the day off but I couldn't get the sub I wanted, so I went in anyway. Dealt with a lot of Spring fever and the accompanying insanity. Went to the gym after work. Came home and showered. Met up with Ross at Nic and Kate's for poker. Only stayed for a little while because I was so worn out from my long week. Came home and watched many episodes of Nip/Tuck.

Saturday: Forgot to turn off my alarm. Woke up at 7am and was *this* close to getting into the shower because I thought I had to go to work. Went back to bed. Woke up and went with the in-laws to Ginger for a yummy-in-my-tummy lunch. Went to Lowe's and bought stuff for our square-foot garden. Started constructing said garden. Cheered Ross on as he bravely went under our house (the crawl space is seriously like 2 feet by 2 feet) to turn on the water line to our hose. Met up with Jenni and Mark for sushi. Went back to their place to see the cutie-pie Remus. Marvelled at how he is becoming a real person. Met up with Jake and Rachel at Mom Siam. Ate Jake's rice. Went to Can-Can and got overpriced drinks. Came home and went to bed.

Sunday: Got up and went to Lowe's to buy additional plants for the garden AND to exchange my gardening gloves that had a right AND left hand one. Finished up the garden and planted the vegetables. Went to the gym. Came home and showered. Went to church. Conned Ross into getting pizza for dinner. Did some laundry. Watched some T.V. To bed soon.

Have a great week!

A miracle.

Today I am wearing my size 4 jeans. This hasn't happened in a long time. I will celebrate by stuffing my face with cafeteria pizza.

Dear Nip\Tuck,

Why oh why do you have to be the best show ever? How could I have been so foolish as to not watch you all along? You're the cream in my coffee, the salt in my stew, and I love you and all of your ridiculous situations with everything that I am. With every episode, you get more and more far-fetched...and more of my heart.

Until I have Season 3 in my trembling, in-love hands,

Valerie
A.K.A The number one Nip\Tuck fan in the whole entire world
A.K.Ak TNONTFITWEW

Weekend Wrap Up...

Friday: Taught my booty off, got caught up on my grading, went to the gym, came home, took a ridiculously long nap, ate some pizza with friends, totally effed up my bamboo stitch scarf to the point of no repair.

Saturday: Hung out with Maura, bought some clothes, watched a lot of TV, got Wendy's for dinner, watched half of Tea with Mussolini, went to bed.

Sunday: Awesome time at the gym, went to the grocery store, cleaned the upstairs, did some laundry, got Taco Bell for dinner, watched The Natural, more laundry, to bed soon.

Where are we going, Ross? And why are we in this handbasket?

Ross and I got this in the mail last week:

It's probably hard to read, but it tells us that "something good is about to happen." And I mean, it must be true, because they wrote it in all caps and put it next to a floating Jesus. However, according to the letter, the "something good" can only happen if you write down your prayer and place that prayer, along with the prayer "handkerchief" (which was really just a piece of paper that they bought from Michael's that *kind of* looks like it could be a handkerchief) back in the envelope to be sent back to the church BEFORE BREAKING THE SEAL OF THE LETTER. Oops...

OMG!!!!!! As you can see, the seal is most certainly broken, and I can tell you that I broke it before any prayer page or prayer "handkerchief" were place in any envelope. I wonder how the church (and Jesus) would feel if they saw what we did to their prayer "handkerchief":

Ross used the other half to write down our grocery list. It's possible that the word "tampons" was written on this. I hope Ross remembered to pick up some ice packs to keep us cool IN THE FIREY PITS OF HADES.

I think I threw up my brain.

Ever since my experience with the Norovirus (or as Ross likes to call it, "The Winter Vomiting Disease") I have become incredibly stupid. Often when I walk into a room I forget why I am there. I love Wikipedia and often go there with excitement, but by the time the page loads, I don't remember what I want to look up. It's starting to take a long time for me to come up with words when I'm talking. No one else has seemed to notice. Maybe my brain worked at super speed before and the Norovirus has simply put me down at everyone else's level. Or it might be that I no longer need to know anything beyond the required intelligence of a 10 year old.

Frantic to the Maximum, Can't Relaximum

I've applied for 4 jobs. They are:
1. Technology Integrator
2. Media Specialist for Virginia Historical Society
3. Director for the Carver Promise
4. Donor Relationships Manager for the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts Fund

Looking at the requirements, I actually might be somewhat qualified for each of these, but who knows. Uncertainty is not something I do well with, as we all know. I also don't do well with having to wait for responses. Why aren't they all pulling their hair out and demanding, "WHY DOESN'T SHE WORK FOR US YET?!?!?!?!?!?"

Life Freak Out

I'm getting a really bad feeling that I didn't get the integrator job. Now I am scared to death because that would mean having to actually find a job. As in, looking in the newspaper and equivalents in order to find positions that are somewhat related to my skill set. I AM NOT GOOD AT THAT. I have gotten every job I've ever applied for and I don't know how I will react if I don't get this one. I'm absolutely terrified of not having job-it's almost crippling to the point where I don't want to do anything about it. Teachers have job security like none other and it makes me nervous to let that go. I think I'm going to hyperventilate and throw up at the same time. It's especially frustrating because part of me is saying, "Just forget it. Keep teaching. You like it and it's stable." I want to punch that part in the face.

Weekend Wrap Up...

Friday: Pretty easy day, almost wrote someone an office referral for not covering her mouth when she coughed, got hair highlighted which took 2 1/2 hours but turned out cute, dinner with in-laws, watched VT basketball game with friends.

Saturday: Gym, felt sorry for myself, shower, felt sorry for myself, tried to go shopping, felt sorry for myself, bought nothing and came home, cried some because I felt sorry for myself, watched Nip/Tuck while knitting and felt a little better, to bed late because of the time change.

Sunday: Fed people at Loaves and Fishes, came home to eat lunch, took a short nap, off to church, praying, singing, etc. etc., shaved Ross's head, got dinner, have a headache, will grade some papers and then go to bed.

A Haircut.

Before.



























During.



























After.

Cutie Pie FO

I made this for our friends Georgia and Benjamin. We met them at church and love them to bits. They are both in medical school right now. They were, as the put it, "hit by the baby bus on the way to school." Their little girl is coming in two weeks. I thought if she had a cute hat she might be enticed to come out.

And that, my friends, is what we call progress.

I felt the black cloud coming yesterday evening. I'd had a rough week at work and was feeling especially unhappy with my life and what not. I can't explain where this desperate feeling comes from, but I can tell you that it is powerful and is capable of making you think about dark things. I don't mean dark thoughts as in hurting myself, but rather thoughts that really aren't worth your time thinking about.

Up until last year, my response to such a feeling would be to go to sleep. Or lie in bed trying to sleep. There would be unexplained crying, too. However, yesterday was different. As I felt the hopeless feeling coming on, I jumped up and told Ross I needed to go to the gym. Being the astute and wonderful husband he is, he knew exactly why. He kissed me and told me drive safe.

Rather than wanting to take to my bed, I'm now trained to crave physical activity when my mind has gone loopy. Obviously, this is a much healthier and more productive option. After just 10 minutes of running on the treadmill and breaking a little sweat, I felt better than I had in days - not just because I had made the healthy choice, but because I finally was understanding how to take care of myself on all levels.

Tattoo #2

Ever since I got my first tattoo, all I've wanted to do is get another one. A lot of people have asked me what I would get. Here's a sneak peak:

No, I wouldn't get the whole cover. I want to just get the bird. I chose this because this book changed my life. I seriously cry every time I read it. It showed me that it is possible to be a proud Southerner without taking on all of the stereotypes people attach to that. I think it articulates growing up in the South better than any other book I've ever read. It shows the beautiful and hilarious relationship that siblings have with one another, too. Since I love my siblings more than anyone else ever will (sorry Jen and Matt), I clearly connected with this aspect of the story. Also, Atticus Finch is one of my heroes and I hope to be the kind of parent he is.

As you can see, it means a lot to me. I would love to have a piece of it with me always.

P.S. Thanks to Mrs. Klein, my freshman English teacher. I read this book in her class. We would talk about it all the time and she'd cry right along with me.

A teacher's dream come true.

Well, I don't know if I would go *that* far, but this is pretty close.

As many of you know, teachers are on their feet all day long. When I sit down to lunch, it's literally the first time I've sat down in 3 hours. Consequently, we teachers often have aching feet. Sure, we have our Dansko's that help, but sometimes the only thing that will help is a foot massage. OR THIS:

First, it's 100% natural which is great. For some reason I'm comforted by the fact that, if necessary - like if zombies attack and we are stranded upstairs - Ross and I could live off of my Burt's Bees products for several days. Not only that, it works. As the tube says, "This wonderfully natural formula combines pure Peppermint oil, Parsley Leaf oil, and Menthol to soother and calm tired feet." I was not aware that so many of those ingredients had to be capitalized - you learn something new everyday. Anyway, the tube doesn't lie. In fact, I would even say that the tube holds back. This stuff WAKES UP YOUR FEET! Seriously, I've been using this consistently for a week and I've never known my feet to be so awake. It's heaven. Pure, golden, delicious, Peppermint Infused Heaven.

I just blacked out for 20 minutes

So I just had my interview for the integrator job. I remember going in, saying hello, saying goodbye, and walking out. Hopefully that's not all I did. I get so crazy nervous in situations like that. I could have gone in and recited the Gettysburg Address while standing on my head without even realizing it. I don't find out for 6 to 8 weeks (I remember hearing that part). Not it's waiting. I'm not good with waiting either.

Churning

There is so much to be stressed about today. The kids take their first part of their SOL Writing test. This part of teaching is incredibly hard because as much work you put in to preparing them, it's up to them to do it. On top of that, they are still dealing with the aftershocks of the recent tragedy in our school and its surrounding neighborhoods. To update you on that, the little girl has been transported to Shriners Hospital in Ohio. She is badly burned but fortunately unconscious, so she's not feeling anything.

Also, my interview is todaya t 1:40. I haven't had to do anything like this in a long time and the familiar stomach ache, nervous shaking, and overall feelings of mediocrity are starting to take over. I know I will be fine once I get in there, but I don't do well with anticipation. I'm ok with whether I get it or not, but quite frankly, I don't like it when people are looking at/evaluating me. The whole interview is only supposed to take 20 minutes. It will all be over by 2:00. Then I can go to the gym and watch Dr. Phil while I workout. Just gotta get to that point.

Ross and the PharrOut crew also have a big presentation today. He's not used to having to actually "talk" so he was a little nervous. I just told him to cut back on saying "I mean..." before every sentence and he should be fine.

I'm hoping there will be much celebration in the Catrow House once this day is over. We lead a very quiet life, so today is a big deal for us. I'm just ready to have it all been done, get in bed, watch Nip/Tuck, and snuggle.

Weekend Wrap Up...

Friday: Insanity came at me from every direction all day at school, came home, napped a little while, had dinner with Ross's parents at Casas Grandes, celebrated 5th anniversary of my step sister's successful bone marrow transplant, came home, went to bed.

Saturday: Gym for the first time in two weeks, watched 5 minutes of a Room With a View then turned it off after 5 minutes because it was SO BORING, watched Punch Drunk Love, watched a million hours of America's Next Top Model, ate pizza, watched Secretary, went to bed.

Sunday: Gym, came home,, had lunch, watched the History Chanel, made communion bread, went to church, got Taco Bell, watched Shalom in the Home, snuggled with the hubs, did some laundry, going to watch the Jesus Bones show, might be Jewish tomorrow.

What a Nightmare

This is a family at my school. Please keep them in your prayers, particularly the little girl in the hospital. I will post more information when I know it.

Happy Birthday, Dear Friend

My friend Remus turned 1 year old yesterday. Here he is last weekend enjoying his first taste of cake. He kept wanting to share his mushy, drooly cake with everyone. While he was opening presents, his mom and dad realized he had what can only be described as a cake-booger coming out of his nose. He's the cutest, sweetest baby in the whole wide world. He's attracted to anything electronic and likes to make popping noises with his mouth. He prefers to stand up while getting his diaper changed. He has very sensitive skin. He loves loves loves his puppy dog and thinks banging his hands on a table is just about the most fun thing ever. All of these things make him one of my favorite friends.

Happy Birthday, Little Man!

The 1/2 month of faaaaaaaaaaaaat

I haven't been to the gym since my death period. I wanted to make sure I was completely well before I even considered physical activity. Honestly, I didn't feel 100% until yesterday. I think it was only then that I had finally made up for all of the calories I didn't consume last week.

I thought about going today. Ross is out watching a basketball game with some friends and I got all my extracurricular work done ahead of time. I was even home relatively early. But no. I took a nap instead, simply because I hadn't taken a nap all week. I feel like crap now and I know I would be feeling great if I had gone and run for just 30 minutes. But oh well. I'll get back on track this weekend.