Life Freak Out

I'm getting a really bad feeling that I didn't get the integrator job. Now I am scared to death because that would mean having to actually find a job. As in, looking in the newspaper and equivalents in order to find positions that are somewhat related to my skill set. I AM NOT GOOD AT THAT. I have gotten every job I've ever applied for and I don't know how I will react if I don't get this one. I'm absolutely terrified of not having job-it's almost crippling to the point where I don't want to do anything about it. Teachers have job security like none other and it makes me nervous to let that go. I think I'm going to hyperventilate and throw up at the same time. It's especially frustrating because part of me is saying, "Just forget it. Keep teaching. You like it and it's stable." I want to punch that part in the face.