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One doesn't *become* a Southern lady. You either are, or you are not. No amount of acclimation will make up for a lack of upbringing based on bare feet, good manners, and the mastery of "puddling" rather than sweating.
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Well if you hadn't started it, then it might be a lot easier to find a good scapegoat. But everybody knows it was you.
Did you actually hold out some hope that there were children out there that didn't lie?
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