Thursday, May 25, 2006

Whew.

I reached a breaking point yesterday morning. I completely wanted to pack up my things and go away for a couple days, just so I wouldn't have to be around anything that needed managing or for me to take care of it. This is by no means a reflection on my marriage or job or life, it's just how I feel sometimes. When I take the Meyers-Briggs test, I'm as far in the introvert column as you can be. Most people think that means your shy or hate talking in front of people. I'm neither of those things (I mean, I talk for a living). But rather, I need to have time alone or else I'll go insane. Like for real, wanna throw my cell phone in the river and change my name insane. When I get like this, I'm completely consumed with worldly, unimportant, and selfish things that, in the end, mean very little.

Last night I finally got that much needed privacy. My wonderful husband suggested that I go spend some time at his parent's decorate but vacant house for a few hours. So, I got myself some Chick-Fil-A and a People magazine, and headed over. It. was. amazing. I was only there for about 2 hours, but it was great to be able to just sit with myself, not having to talk to anybody or take care of anything. All I had to do was enjoy the time and refocus.

On my way home, I realized that what I really need to work on is being in the moment and be grateful for the blessings that I have and recognize at that time. So, when I got into bed that night, I didn't allow myself to think about everything I didn't do that day, or what was coming with the next. Instead I focused on the fact that I was a loved, healthy, clean, fed young lady lying in her comfortable bed with her loving dog, while the love of her life was in the next room working on a project for the business that he is determined will completely support us in the next few years, enabling me to stay home when we have kids.

Right now, all I'm thinking about is how hard my students are working as they take their science SOL. I see them reading things carefully, checking and double-checking, taking deep breaths, and doing their best. I don't care what their scores are. They're making me proud at this very moment.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

"I" TOTALLY understand the feeling

Justin said...

True.