Too ridiculous to even talk about. But I'm going to.

WARNING: I'm going to say the word "nipple" and its variations a lot in this post. Take a lookie here:


Poor Giselle. It seems that in signing her contract with Victoria's Secret, she accidentally signed away her nipples. Now, I'm not suggesting that nipples should be displayed in the catalog for all the world to see, but it just confirms that fact that in no way can you believe that models actually look anything like their pictures. They could have airbrushed away a full-grown beard for all we know! Millions of young girls across the world will now think that having nipples is gross!!!! We will see a swarm of barely-legals on "Dr. 90210" asking for nipple-removal surgery, and knowing how sleazy this guy is...

...HE'LL DO IT! I can just imagine him saying, "Oh yes, Sally, that little snip-snip we gave you reeeeeaaaaly took care of the problem. You look so hot. Candy, come and look how hot she is. Stand real close to her and tell her she is hot." But I digress.

Not only that, this lovely "undergarment" will cost you a reasonable $12.5 million. That's right, $12.5 million to cover your nipples in freezing cold, sharp-cornered metal that actually looks like DOZENS OF DIAMOND AND RUBY ENCRUSTED NIPPLES. Oh please, please, please, let that be waiting under the Christmas tree for me.