Many Exciting Things

Grown-up:
I bought a suit today. I realized that most companies might not be too keen on me showing up in Danskos to interview, so I figured I needed to drop some cash to look nice. If you know me, you know I don't wear suits. I tried on a couple "standard suits" and the saleswoman at Ann Taylor Loft could tell that I felt completely ridiculous. So, she located this for me which I bought. I love it because it's nonstandard but still looks nice. None of the jobs I'm interviewing for are mainstream companies, so I think it will work. And if they don't appreciate it, well, I'm sorry, I can't work for a company that has no fashion sense. I also got some pink shoes to go with it. PINK SHOES?!?!??! How can your day get any better???


Almost De-fattified:
I have lost approx. 7 pounds since going off the Lexapro, AKA "the make you slowly but surely fat and only slightly less crazy pill." This is very exciting. I'm OCD and I weigh myself in the morning and at night, every day. Don't worry, I'm still eating (ask anybody, I'm probably eating their food, too). I would just go crazy if I didn't know. So each day I have what I call my "starting weight" and my "ending weight." Well, as of the last couple days, my ending weight has become what my starting weight used to be. And my starting weight has become numbers that I have seen in quite a while but have missed very dearly. I'm almost back to my pre-medicine weight, but if I just loose a couple more pounds I'll be comfortable with that I think. I had kind of a break down last night because I felt like I had been left in the dark with this whole concept that anti-depressants make you gain weight. And then I realized I was being amazingly-bratty and ungrateful for the fact that this medication (and my wonderful doctor who put me on it) brought me back from an abyss of sorts. I can deal with a little pudge. It's kind of like a badge of honor.


Productive:
My bonus-brother initiated the tearing (well, kicking) down of our front yard "fence" yesterday. I put "fence" in "quotes" because a real fence wouldn't be that craptastic. I mean, it was plastic. I. hate. that. fence. Matt being the great guy that he is destroyed the entire thing in about 20 minutes. Ross and I spent a considerable amount of time cleaning up the teeny tiny yard it surrounded. Then, James in all of his awesomeness arrived in his equivalent of a white horse (a noisy white van) to carry away all of the leftovers. When we pulled out the fence we both thought that James would probably want it (he and his lovely wife have a penchant for dumpster diving), so we didn't completely demolish it. We asked him to help us carry the pieces to a bigger dumpster than we have in our area. In true Murphy form, he decided he would just take the pieces. I love the Murphies to the maxx.

P.S. Working in the yard is just as good as going to the gym. I already can't move my arms.


Miracle:
You may remember that I mentioned a little girl from my school who was involved in a terrible fire. She got badly burned and spent 8 weeks at the Shriners Hospital in Ohio. Well, our girl came back to school today. Her classmate were SO happy to see her and she couldn't wait to get back to school. My kids have been so thoughtful about how to make the transition back into school easy for her. The hospital sent a wonderful woman to come and talk to the kids about how our little girl looks different now and what she has to go through each day to get better. I was so proud of our kids. They asked such thoughtful questions that had more to do with her well-being rather than about the rumors of the specifics of the fire. The hospital representative said it was the best group of 5th graders she had ever spoken with. A compliment like that means so much.

Employment:
I had to turn in my official letter of resignation today (eek!) but that was balanced out by three calls for interviews. I have one on Thursday and I'm calling tomorrow to figure out specific dates for the others.

It goes without saying that with all of this excitement (yes, for me this is much excitement) I'm pretty wired and I probably won't get much sleep. But hey, at least it's wired because of good things.

*UPDATE* I now have another interview. Originally it was going to be tomorrow at 3:30 but it just got moved to Friday at 3:30. So I will leave work early tomorrow and slightly early on Friday. I'm refusing to get excited due to a neurotic fear of disappointment.

Just all kinds of wonderful nonsense

I got into a stand-off with a K or 1st grader today. As in the staring contest variety. It's really quite shocking how gutsy some of these little ones are. And how I seem to be able to transform a stubborn child into a mooshy pile of slobbery tears just by looking at him. I kinda feel bad about it. No I don't.

I'm having trouble sleeping because I'm so excited about the arrival of my new, beautiful, delicious computer. I am naming him Boots because that's what I always wanted to name a kitten if I ever got one and I know I'm not getting ever because Ross has a black, black heart. So, the MacBook will have to do. I'll take pictures of Boots and post them as soon as he arrives. It's crazy because I'll *use* Boots to post *pictures* of Boots. It's a crazy, upside-down world we live in.

I got to have burritos tonight. We (meaning me and my awesome friends) call them "byou-reetohs" (as in with a long u) because my friend Matt's wonderful mother calls them that and I think it's effing adorable. I don't know if she realizes that she calls them that, but I love it. I think of her whenever I eat them...which is a lot. I know you're reading this, Nancy Schneider and we love and miss you!

Tomorrow is Friday and that is fabulous beyond compare. Except we have to dress nicely because of some top-secret visitors at our staff meeting. This could be extremely exciting or extremely anti-climactic.

Jane gave me a pattern and some yum yarn to knit this. I seem to have lost all patience for, well, everything really and I've had a hard time starting it. The yarn is so thin I almost can't handle it but it's so nice. Maybe I should double it up. Jane? Help?

Saturday morning is the day of Remus. He will be arriving at my house early for much playing and snuggling. My mother will also be bringing her new puppy over. A baby AND a puppy. Ross will be running for the hills and I will collapse from all of the heaven in my house.

And that, my friends, is what we call progress.

I felt the black cloud coming yesterday evening. I'd had a rough week at work and was feeling especially unhappy with my life and what not. I can't explain where this desperate feeling comes from, but I can tell you that it is powerful and is capable of making you think about dark things. I don't mean dark thoughts as in hurting myself, but rather thoughts that really aren't worth your time thinking about.

Up until last year, my response to such a feeling would be to go to sleep. Or lie in bed trying to sleep. There would be unexplained crying, too. However, yesterday was different. As I felt the hopeless feeling coming on, I jumped up and told Ross I needed to go to the gym. Being the astute and wonderful husband he is, he knew exactly why. He kissed me and told me drive safe.

Rather than wanting to take to my bed, I'm now trained to crave physical activity when my mind has gone loopy. Obviously, this is a much healthier and more productive option. After just 10 minutes of running on the treadmill and breaking a little sweat, I felt better than I had in days - not just because I had made the healthy choice, but because I finally was understanding how to take care of myself on all levels.

So, I guess this is really happening.

I finished my portfolio for that interview I told you about. I also told my team members at school that A) I'm interviewing for that position and B) either way it goes, I won't be back next year. I almost (almost, almost) wanted to cry when saying it, partly because I'm happy/excited, partly because I'm sad/scared. I told them that I need to step away from teaching in the classroom for a little while, to focus on other things, namely my own life. Teaching is all-consuming. Don't get me wrong. It's wonderful. Wonderful. But I require myself to give 100% to everything I do. And as we know, mathematically, that can't really happen. I've always said that I never wanted to be someone who was defined by what their job is, and that's how things are now. I owe it to myself and my friends and my family to be emotionally available. I have no idea what is going to happen. I know what I want to happen and I know how I want the next few years to look, but who knows how it will really go. It's funny. Normally I don't do well with being in limbo, but I'm liking not knowing what to expect.

Weekend Wrap Up...

Friday: Said goodbye to the instigator of all 5th grade drama because it was his last day, came home, tried to nap, met up with Ross's parents for dinner and Gallery 5 meandering, off to bed.

Saturday: Went to gym, went on an insane cleaning spree, got 5 Guys for dinner, bought a book, came home, finished Windy City scarf, off to bed at 2am.

Sunday: Gave up trying to sleep because I apparently don't do that anymore, made Communion bread for church, took Jenni to see Mark in the hospital, went to church, ate some brownies, got Taco Bell, came home, started this:

It will be a hat for me someday. I'm off to bed very soon because I'm truly exhausted.

Again, there is something seriously wrong with me.

• I was the one that pointed out that the cartoon, talking igneous rock in today's Science video looked like a piece of poop.
• I was offered a piece of chocolate today and TURNED IT DOWN.
• In the car on the way home from the gym I head Lionel Richie's "Once, Twice, Three Times a Lady" and started bawling.
• I am completely obsessed with the proper functioning of the folding door I just installed. Like to the point where I bet I won't sleep tonight.
• I have a very hard time *not* sharing with Ross what I learn during my kids' family life classes, such as the difference between sperm and semen. That's right. I just said sperm and semen.

True Friendship.

I must love Mark and Jenni very dearly because I just stuck my hand up a chicken's ass for them. I don't touch raw meat, let alone enter its cavities to remove bits. Blech.

Why you should go to Gold's gym*

*This blogger is a real person, not a paid actor.


I am in love love love with having a gym. Maybe this is because I have a really nice gym. Granted, the only gym I have to compare it to is the fitness center at U of R, which, let's be honest, I only went to like 3 times in my four years there. Anyway, I love my gym. To the point where I kind of want to be there all of the time.


When I signed up at Gold's they asked me what I wanted out of a gym. I said I wanted it to be safe, clean, and for the people to be friendly. That's all. Not a particularly tall order but, hey, I'm a girl who knows what she wants. Anyway, Brad (my super-nice orientation guy who sent me a thank you letter for joining-I like to think that he doesn't do that for everyone) said that I would definitely get that there. AND BOY WAS HE RIGHT!

Watch out, friends, here comes a list. Why I lovey love love my gym:

• PARKING LOT IN THE CITY.
  
• Big, huge spotlight shining down in said parking light like a beacon from God saying, "You will not get attacked at a place as magnificent as this."
  
• TVs on the treadmills. Hello. This makes exercising easy like Sunday morning, rather than like you are walking/running to your death.
• Said treadmills go up to an incline of 50%. Amazing. I'm gonna say it, my butt is looking more fabulous than ever, and that's saying a lot considering what a fan I already was of my posterior.
• Sauna in the ladies' lockeroom. I haven't used it yet but I love knowing it's there!
• Free classes. That's right. Free. And no signing up.
• No kids. We all know I love kids to the point of A)wanting to eat them or B)having my head blow up from cuteness, but I really appreciate not having them there as a distraction.
• Great magazine selection. Again, makes it easy like Sunday morning.
• They have a rack for you to hang your keys when you go in. And since it's Richmond, no one would be so rude as to steal from you. (As we all know, in Richmond, people won't be rude. They might kill you, but they won't be rude).

Hopefully I've convinced you all to drive straight down there and sign up. I don't even care if you use me as a reference (even though if you do, my name *does* go into a drawing for a "big screen TV.")

Save me a seat in hell.

Ok. I'm not really a mall person. I don't like the parking and the walking and the having to carry your coat around and what not. It's just not for me. But, as it was the Christmas season and with the Christmas season comes gift cards and necessary returns, I decided to bite the bullet and just venture out to Chesterfield Towne Centre (they spell it that way to make it seem fancy) to take care of my errands. Why the CTC, you ask? Because, frankly, I'd rather drink my own urine (hell, I'd drink your urine) before going out to Short Pump on the day after Christmas. One can only take so many David-Yurman-jewelry-draped, Tide-with-lavender scented West End mothers and croc-clad children in his/her lifetime.

Anyway, I felt like things were going to be ok when I got there. I found a parking lot very close to the entrance and took that as a good sign. Maybe I wouldn't end of shaking my fist at complete strangers at the conclusion of this trip.

Well, I didn't shake my fist, but I will tell you that after making a return and buying some jeans (25% off, helloooooo!!!), a trip that took all of 15 minutes, I left feeling genuine hatred for the following people:

• Anyone under the age of 23
• The fitting room attendant at GAP who seems to think that the fitting rooms are in the pants of the "cute boy" working at the register
• Grown women who wear oversized, fleece sweatshirts embroidered with any cartoon character that doesn't wear pants (e.g. Pooh, Daffy Duck, etc.)
  
• People who walk around the mall like they are taking a stroll in the park and then suddenly stop in front of a store to discuss whether or not to go in there and as they stop they block the way for everyone in their vicinity because, I'm gonna say it, each member of their strolling party passed 300lbs. a long time ago

So there, I'm a city snob. I apparently cannot be in any area other than my place of work or within walking distance of my home. It also seems that I'm only friends with people that are my age or older and who I feel are attractive, in-shape, and well-dressed (but not too well-dressed-see my previous comments about people who live in the West End). It turns out that deep in my black heart of judgement I have found myself to be a jerk. Why don't I feel bad about this?

Christmas Eve Eve and Christmas Eve

The Christmas holidays have gotten off to a spectacular start. Ross and I spent the evening alone which happens about as often as Halley's comet graces us with its presence. We cooked beef tenderloin in the crockpot and played Scrabble and Dominoes. All of that sounds like we're 85 years old until I tell you that whilst playing these games we kissed a lot AND watched Kill Bill vols. 1 and 2. I must say, while I loved the movies independently, watching one right after the other is amazing.

Ross and I woke up this morning before 10, only so we could get to McDonald's in time for breakfast. We came home, got real fat, and then opened our presents. I got a Dust Buster (I asked for it, seriously), Amy Sedaris's entertaining book, and a pair of fancy boots (which will have to be sent back because they are too small, but I'm more deeply in love with Ross than ever for even trying to buy me shoes). I also got lots of deodorant in my stocking, as well as a toothbrush, dental floss, and candy.

Ross got an NCAA official football (because he's 8), a copy of Moby Dick, and the Stuffed Cougar cookbook so he can make me dinner. He too got deodorant in his stocking, as well as candy, a spatula, and, the pis de resistance (I have no idea how to spell it and I prefer to say it like that anyway): plastic army men and a T-rex to be part of our nativity scene (pictures to follow soon, I'm sure).

Today will consist of me not cleaning up the mess from last night's dinner, Ross throwing the new football around with Justin Morgan, us going to church, and then dinner/presents at Ross's parents. I hope I get more deodorant.

I’ve already had a Merry Christmas.

Today one of our little girls in 5th grade got a huge surprise. Her father is on his second tour in Iraq. She and her sister had been told that he wasn’t going to be able to make it home for Christmas. But today she got called up to the office and found her daddy standing there waiting for her. Then they called her little sister up. When the little one saw him she said, “I asked Santa for you to come home for Christmas!!!” Both of the little ones just started sobbing because they were so excited. And of course we all were crying, too. It was beautiful. After seeing two of our babies so happy, I don’t really need anything else this year.

5 things you probably don't know about me...

1. I get up and go to the bathroom about 5 times before I finally go to sleep. I don't know if this is from being terrified of wetting the bed or from hating to get up the middle of the night. Either way, it's annoying.

2. People accused my of being anorexic all through high school.

3. I have never been west of the Mississippi River.

4. When faced with gross things in real life, I have no reaction whatsoever and remain very calm and collected. But if you tell me about them, I will moan and scream like I'm going to vomit.

5. I have never broken an arm or had stitches (wisdom teeth don't count).

Weekend Wrap Up...

Friday evening: Had dinner with the hubs and his dad at Mexico where I ate lots of chips and drank a margarita. Went with hubs to MattWhite's house where we met up with him and Shelley. Drank some lemoncello or whatever the mess it is out of tea cups. Went back to our house and beat Justin Morgan at Trivial Pursuit. Fell a little bit more in love with Shelley.

Saturday morning: N/A I was in bed

Saturday afternoon: Stopped at McDonald's on the way up to Fxburg. Discovered that this particular McDonald's was the worst one on earth. Drove up for Maura's graduation part-ay. Talked to Maura's mom about what it was like to be a nun. Ate lots of chocolate.

Satuday evening: Drove back down to Richmond. Tried to get dressed for Nic and Kate's Christmas party. Nothing fit because of my science fiction boobs. Decided to wear black pants, white button-up shirt, sassy red shoes, and one of Ross's ties. Was a little nervous about how I looked. Apparently it was a hit. Had an awesome time at the party and saw a lot of people that I really don't hang out with enough. Fell a little bit more in love with Jennifer Murphy.

Sunday morning: Excercised (yes, it's true!)and took a shower before 1pm.

Sunday afternoon: Made piggies in blankets. Went to church. Partook in after-church potluck/Christmas party. Poked at Georgia-With-Child's belly, trying to get her unborn daughter to move. Failed.

Sunday evening: Spread a little Christmas cheer in the form of taking Remus his Christmas present. Went to Target. Cursed the fact that any idiot can have a child. Bought some hamster food and Christmas odds and ends. Came home and ate peanut butter toast. Gonna go snuggle with the hubs and go to bed.

Hearts and Happy Holidays!